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February 23, 2008
The Foundation of a True Life
Have you ever paid attention to how much we humans think and believe that we have to explain ourselves to others and prove our self worth to others, usually at our own expense and strength? It's amazing how when one comes into understanding of what shaky ground one stands on in this regard that the light of the matter is seen for what it is.
We all live on a pretty shaky foundation. Yet, all we are doing each day is standing on that foundation and doing whatever it is that we can muster to ensure that the foundation doesn't break apart and collapse, usually from right underneath our figurative feet. And that is where what I spoke about above comes into play at times.
Of course, we're not aware of this imbalance, and ensuing struggle to maintain and regain the balance. But it's there. And it haunts us daily with our unsteady gait as we hopefully traverse forward through life.
It's not to say that this is something that is not expected or not to be planned for in life. In fact, it's pretty much a fact of life once we're able and old enough to know that Life doesn't have to be going the way we think in our small minds that it should be going.
You see, the efforts that we use to try to hold the shaky foundation together, the 'glue' of life that we use to stop it from forever cracking and crumbling underneath the soles/souls of our feet, is when we should realize that Life doesn't have to go this way and be disintegrating before our eyes.
But, like most, we find ourselves screaming for 'More glue! More glue please, I need more glue!!' In other words we are thinking 'Life is beginning to unravel at the edges and I don't know how to stop it!'
Well, fortunately for us it's not a matter of stopping the threads of our life from loosening and destroying the fabric of our existence altogether. No. Rather, it's a matter of knowing when to let go of the struggle that we think we need to have with Life, and because of Life, and instead to just let Life BE.
Period.
It's not up to each of us to ensure that our unsteady foundation we've built our life on doesn't continue to crumble. In fact, we're the cause of the crumbling, but that's the last thing that we want to become aware of and know about with regards to actually what's happening to us.
We want to ensure that whatever is happening is occurring through the fault of something outside of us and that is what is causing the crumbling. Why? Because we only know how to do what we can to have the cracking at the edges of our day not continue into complete disrepair of our life.
I find it kind of interesting that as humans we want to make others responsible for what we're doing to ourselves, individually. We're each making sure to do our best to make our life turn out in a way that we then find ourselves complaining about. Yet, we want others outside of us to be the so-called solution to that crumbling.
It's not OUR perception of what's happening that can be at the root of what is causing us pain. Uh-uh.
It's not OUR view of the world that is making us scared in the core of our soul. No way.
It's not OUR actions that are innocently backfiring and torching us with our own heat that we at first tried to apply to that other person but couldn't make stick or stay pointed in their direction. No sirree, bub.
No, we would rather make someone or some situation outside of us responsible for the fear and the shakiness that we feel from day to day.
But, you know, it doesn't have to stay this way. Why? Because when one knows that it is a matter of understanding that what we have been doing to-date is what is causing our foundations to crumble beneath our feet, everything changes in that instant with regards to that situation.
Once we take individual responsibility for what is happening beneath us as we walk through our days, we will be creating a sense of empowerment from a very deep part of ourselves that no other person can create for us, or put inside of us.
And, once we understand that it's not up to some outside action to make each of us feel the strength inside - the inner resolve and fortitude - to handle what happens outside, then we'll know that the rebuilding of our shaky foundation is what is needed. And, more importantly, to help create the strong mortar that'll forever hold things together: only we can do it.
You see, it's not a matter of shoring up the edges and keeping the walls inside from crumbling further. Rather, get the sledgehammer out and start swinging away at each shoring and let the shaky foundation walls come tumbling and crashing down. Why?
Because the foundation that is falling apart right now under you isn't the foundation of your True life.
Let me rephrase: It's a false foundation that you personally put there, thinking that it was right and true, and strong enough to hold you up and support you through your days here. Unfortunately, this was misinformation on yours and others parts, but now you know what is really needed to ensure that you are firm in your position in life as you move forward through your time here.
There is another way to be in the world, a way that doesn't involve being a heavy morass that can't be there for others, never mind being there for oneself in the first place.
That's why no one is able to truly support anyone else - not that that is what should be being done in the first place. But, when the current foundation that each of us stands on and wobble on throughout our day is allowed to disintegrate and a new stronger Right foundation is allowed to be integrated anew, the world we know changes for the better and becomes brighter each and every day.
Again, is this easy and an overnight fix? Of course, you know by reading my blog that you should know the answer to that question by now.
Which is, of course, this takes effort on one's part, the part of the person willing to do the work. And that effort needs to be maintained for quite some time.
But using the analogy of the proverbial thirsty traveler crawling through the dry and desolate desert, that taste, and then the memory of the taste of that first drop of sweet water is all that is needed to keep one moving forward continuing to seek and find ways to get the next taste, or in the context of this article, solidify the foundation of their New Life.
After all, I think most of us would rather be looking forward though our days, instead of looking down to ensure that we don't step in a newly-opened pothole or on a wide crack that could break our stride, if not our leg, right?
So, do what you can to go to your local right-brained hardware store inside your head, and ask the clerk at the insights counter where the sledgehammers are. And, once gotten, do your best to 'swing away' at your current shaky foundation.
Oh how strong you'll feel afterwards. And what a new, firm, and secure foundation you'll be building on incredibly solid ground too. I promise.
Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'
(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)
Posted by Andre Best at 6:04 AM | Comments (0)
February 6, 2008
Question: Annoyed? Answer: Annoyance or Awareness?
Being the father of three young boys is always an opportunity for insights, especially when the boys happen to be in the thick of their young brotherly love and they are all in my company.
I recall a particularly insightful event when we were driving in my vehicle and the younger twins were in their booster seats in the back seat and their older brother was sitting next to me in the front seat, and one of the boys was making a repetitive clicking sort-of noise. Of course, I was paying attention to my driving on the Arizona freeways, but it was easy to notice that this noise being made was done intentionally, versus accidentally.
Anyway, the other two boys both said at pretty much the same time "That's annoying, stop it!", and that's when the insight struck me. That is, it became very clear to me that what was going on appeared on the surface to be about annoyance and being irritated by what was happening outside of one's Self; however, this was not the case.
The annoyance that two of the boys felt was something that was going on inside of them. And the fact of the matter was that they were making a mostly unconscious choice to let this event occuring outside of them bother them. Now, let's bring this home to each of us, as readers of this article.
You see, the boys were doing what pretty much every human being does from time to time. That is, they were allowing something outside of them to affect what was going on inside of them. And this is something that we all know all too well at times.
But, where we usually go awry, so to speak, is when we attribute how we feel inside to what is happening outside of us. That is we make something, someone, or some situation outside of us responsible for how we feel inside.
Now, I know that you are probably thinking that there is nothing wrong with that. But, let's re-question this and see if there is another way to go about dealing with matters happening outside of us.
You see, when we expect some-one or some-thing or some event outside of us to not be occurring, just the way it already is, we are giving away our ability to truly control the situation in the only way we're actually able to do so. And what is that way? We have a choice as to whether our perception of that behavior or situation changes from annoyance, to acceptance.
How does one do this? Easy. We decide to change how we react to the situation. We decide to reclaim our power and change the only thing that we truly have the power to change. Again, that would be our power to change our reaction to the event.
But, however simple this sounds, it isn't. You see, once again, we're all programmed to blame and hold to the proverbial feet of the situation to the fire that burns inside of us. That is what we've been shown throughout our life to be what works.
How many of us at one time or another, myself included, have yelled or shouted at that other person to 'stop that annoying behavior'?
"Stop it now!"
"Don't you see how annoying that is?"
"You're annoying me."
"You're so annoying."
"Stop annoying me."
"Dad/Mom, please make him/her/it stop!"
But, what happens when it doesn't stop?
We get mad.
We yell louder.
We rage.
We demand.
We threaten.
And worse. Sometimes we hit, and abuse in other physical ways.
We've all heard any version of most of the above statements. Or we've heard, most if not all, of these words coming from our own mouths at some time in the perhaps not too distant past.
Again, when we understand that we have the ability to not be annoyed by what is happening outside of us, then we can choose to have a different experience with that heretofore annoying situation.
So, how is this done?
Well, simply by staying aware of what is going on inside when the voices begin to pound on the inside of our skull. You know the ones. The voices that want one to yell out to have the event outside of one to stop.
We all know that yelling and threatening for the most part doesn't create effective change in the situation. Usually the other person will simply continue with their behavior. Why? Because they probably don't see it as annoying, but you do.
You see, there are other people who wouldn't be reacting to the event like you are. That is clear enough proof that the situation is not the problem: your reaction to the event is what is creating the problem for you.
So, you're not really asking the other person to stop behavior that everyone would necessarily agree is annoying, since it's a definition that for right now only exists inside of you. It's your definition of annoyance. So it's up to you to deal with the annoyance that you feel inside.
And, again, the way to do this is to become as aware as you can of what is happening inside of your head. The voices, the feelings, the energy. All of it.
And, what do you do with it? Pretty much nothing. Observe what goes on inside of you. Watch it. Notice what it wants you to do as the annoying event transpires outside of you.
And, do you know what will eventually happen? The action that that other person was doing most likely will stop in due time, and you'll be left with golden nuggets of insights into what inside you was causing you to react the way you do.
And, do this enough times and one day, yes, one day you will not find yourself reacting the way you do right now. You'll no longer see the action of that other person as annoying. They can go on doing what it is that they've done before, and it's a no-skin-off-my-nose situation to you. You no longer react the way you did.
The anger, the energy, the feelings that want to have you undertake a knee-jerk reaction are no longer present.
And what does this do inside of you? Well, for starters, it reduces your stress level. It brings you to a place of peace, over time. It allows you to see things inside of you that make you a more whole human being. It enables you to know that the world outside of you happens as it happens and there isn't anything you can do about it, and that's okay with you.
The rewards go on and on, but you get the picture.
You see, one day you'll find someone near you exhibiting a behavior that others find annoying, and heretofore you would've as well, but now you'll be in a space where you won't be pulled into a place of reaction to the event like those others.
And that will be a world of peace and understanding that annoyance is something that is a matter of reaction, or non-reaction in your case. And it's also a way that clouds the true beauty of the world around us, even in spite of those around us who 'won't listen' to us and 'stop that annoying behavior'.
So, I would suggest, that if this article pertains to you, that you might want to see just how clear and beautiful your world gets through diligent effort with what was shared here. And, to help you along, think how wonderful you'll feel once there is no one, no thing, no situation that annoys.
It truly will be a great experience, to experience. Trust me.
And, lastly, if this article annoyed you - you know where you might want to start working on changing what is happening inside of you. Start by seeing that annoyance is not good, it's bad for you.
Annoyed with this article? If so, watch it closely and learn.
Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'
(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)
Posted by Andre Best at 8:44 PM | Comments (0)