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April 28, 2009
Exorcising Egoistic Expressionism
We all know people who have egos. We all know people who have big egos. We all know what an ego is, in the usual sense of the definition of the word as it is used in current language. Sigmund Freud coined the term a century ago, and then it was used by Carl Jung with reference to the conscious part of the brain that we all have and most of us use. Now the word 'ego' is generally considered a Freudian term to describe that part of the mind that is present during our waking states as humans. Humans being, that is.
The word ego is also used with reference to spirituality and spiritual teachings. In this context it is meant to reference that part of the mind that is the thinking mind and that is present when we are conscious. Or unconscious, depending on how aware the person is who is being asked to define the term. I take the term 'ego' to mean very simply: the mind.
It is the thoughts that we have and it is the part of our consciousness that serves us when we have practical needs and dis-serves us when we don't want it to be serving us such as when we try to be quiet and aware of our self.
We've all had the person in our life who we defined as having a big ego. That person thought very highly and very much so about themselves. Their world was their self: there was no room for others in that world. So, they are a good example of a person who has a big ego.
The ego can also be referenced with the direction of the practical mind and how it is used constructively to help us during our daily tasks and needs of existence. This is more a common reference and this usage is what holds each of us during our waking states each day.
Now, this article is not meant to go into lengthy detail about the ego, as we all have our own, and we all use it as we see fit, or we're controlled by it until we part from this physical plane.
However, we are not born with the ego, it is created. At least that is how I understand it. The ego comes about as the 'mind' is developed as each of us grow out of our infancy as humans. Some of us have a very strong sense of an ego, perhaps because we weren't having the basic needs that we had as an infant being provided for, and so our self-sustenance went into overdrive to serve that purpose and sometimes, usually, the natural shedding of the need for that overinflated sense of self service doesn't go away as one ages through adulthood.
In fact, and through my own observation, the ego simply becomes larger and more 'solid', so to speak. It controls us more, and it leads us in directions during our day 'that we know not why', to quote some religious book, of which the name has left my mind for the moment.
I'm writing about the ego herein because I recently had a particularly cogent experience with an unveiling of a portion of my own ego. Now, depending upon the person you ask who is a part of my life, you might get differing answers as to how large, or small, my ego is. Prior to this experience I'm about to share, I liked to think that my ego was smaller than most as reducing the size of my ego has been the focus and intent of my inner development workings for many years now.
There are times when I think that I am fully and throughout a spiritual man, who works ever so hard to be spiritual throughout his days here on this physical and spiritual plane we all share. However, this can be proven wrong, as it was to me with this recent everyday occurrence we each go through at some time or another.
Let me explain now.
Recently, I attended a medical appointment with a doctor who is very effectively handling the medical issue that was first brought to the doctor's attention during the first visit, which was now several years ago. There have been in the interim multiple visits with this doctor and even an outpatient medical procedure performed all with the intent of handling the medical issue that caused the need for going to this particular doctor's office those few years ago. So, it is quite obvious that the efforts at medical treatment have been many and of varying degrees of efficacy and outcomes.
What occurred during my last appointment with the doctor was that during the visit we got to talking about related medical conditions that involved that particular part of the body that was of original concern and what all the past treatment focused on. That is, we discussed normal functioning of that area of the body, medical reasons for those related effects and affects, and other updates on the over-the-counter medicines that were now being used per prior direction from the doctor during prior visits throughout the past few years.
The details of what occurred during the visit at the time kind of caught me off guard, but that wasn't where the real insight occurred. It occurred after the visit, for the next several days, but I'm getting ahead of myself so I'll stay on track where I should be.
What happened during this last visit that short while ago was that near the end of the somewhat longer appointment with the doctor, due to all the discussions beforehand, the doctor looked at me and quite unexpectedly asked me very directly and pointedly "Do you know what the original diagnosis was?" I quickly thought about the question and without thinking much I simply answered and we went about finishing up discussions about the medical condition that was being treated, and rather effectively, after all.
I left the doctor's office thinking about the overall outcome, but I also found myself having this nagging sense in my mind about the questioning that occurred near the end of the appointment with the doctor. I wasn't sure what it was, but I knew from knowing myself that something was nagging at me for a reason: I just didn't know what it was.
But, that all changed that night during my evening shower, as water running over my body has a way of cleansing me both outside and in, and is when most of my insights happen.
During my shower I distinctly heard this voice speaking in my mind and it was saying to me "That doctor thought you were stupid! Why would you be asked if you knew what the original diagnosis was if only that you were being thought of as being someone who was too stupid to remember why you were there? You didn't bring up all those other medical topics - that doctor did that and you simply answered what was being shared with you - that doesn't mean you're stupid! Write a letter to the head of that office and complain. Do something, because you're not stupid. Don't let that doctor think that you are, Andre!"
That voice was very strong in the shower that night.
And that voice continued for at least the next three or four days, throughout the day and into my sleeping state at night. At one point during this one-sided 'discussion' I was almost convinced that I should write a letter or an email and tell that doctor that I'm not stupid, I'm smart. But, as you may have guessed from reading these articles of mine, that written communication never happened.
Let me state that that voice was very strong and very convincing and was very helpful with helping me see that part of me, my own overinflated sense of ego, that I could only see by an event like that.
Several years ago I most likely would've sent something to that doctor or any other person who 'wronged' me just to prove to them that they were 'wrong' about me as I wouldn't have been able to stand the fact that they were thinking something about me that I knew wasn't 'true'. That's how it would've been before I came to know my own ego more and to understand the workings of the ego, of which, again, we all have one.
And, let me state that they all work the same.
The ego, my ego, your ego, they all get:
Insulted, bruised, incensed, offended, praised, hurt, pained, chided, inflated, maladjusted, pissed-off, enraged, deflated, and on, and on, and on.
Given the right external and/or internal circumstances, this mental machine kicks into overdrive at just the right time when we least need it to. But, if we're not able to slow it down, or stop it, or watch it, it goes right on doing what it does and makes us write those emails, letters, texts, and messages that result in keeping us in its nasty and controlling embrace throughout our days.
Life doesn't have to be about simply following what our supposedly justified reason is for doing what we are telling ourselves we should do about 'that other person who wronged us because they (fill in the blank)'. No.
It can be about going through these proverbial doctor visits in Life and then taking these cleansing showers after the day is done, and all the while staying open to simply listening to the many voices of the ego speaking and moving from one side of the inside of our head to the other side.
Notice I didn't say acting on these voices. I said listening to them. We're all adults here, at least most of us should be: just because we hear something inside our head telling us to blindly and blithely do something doesn't mean we have to follow through with those instructions. At least not immediately, if need be.
One can make the effort to simply stay aware of the voice inside that wants one to act before thinking. Of course, the thinking has already occurred, and yet that is the part of the ego, and comes from the mind that wants us to act. So, a new way of perceiving the situation in the mind needs to occur if change is to be effected.
And what is that perceiving? Quite simply:
Watch the mind.
And, if you want to take it to a more fairly spiritual perspective, you could follow the lead of the 20th Century spiritual guru J. Krishnamurti. Many years ago when asked what his 'secret' to enlightenment was he answered "I don't mind what happens".
Think about that. Not just from the usual sense of paying no attention or heed to what occurs, but additionally from the more esoteric sense that Krishnamurti is showing us at a very deep level that he didn't allow his mind to get involved in what occurs above the level of the body and the mind. After all, the mind and the ego undeniably do serve a purpose and help us mind our p's and q's in Life each day, but the salient question here is "who's minding the ego?"
I know better now who's minding my ego; do you know the same with yours? Do you want to?
Take some time to think about it, I won't mind. At least not for long.
Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'
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Posted by Andre Best at 10:49 PM | Comments (0)