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Who Said Life Is Fair?

March 28, 2010 by Andre Best

Sometimes life isn't fair is it? Sometimes one can do everything within their power to make a situation fair and decent and yet that doesn't amount to anything, in the end. The situation, and the outcome still turns out to the same undesired end. It's not fair when life doesn't work out in the end the way we want it to, is it?

It's just not fair when we think that we're the one who deserves fairness and yet we are forced to accept the imbalance and unfairness of a situation.

Why is it that we want something to work out in one way and yet it ends up occurring and ending up another way, usually the way we don't want it to be occurring as? Why can't life just smoothly flow the way we want it to?

Why does it have to be so unfair and unequal and unrelenting to meeting our personalized demands of a situation and desire?

It doesn't make sense that life has to be so unfair. How many times has it masticated us up in a situation that we're involved in and expectorated us in a phlegmless mass, all against our wishes?

We have all experienced scores of situations that didn't turn out the way we wanted to. Perhaps we expected the outcome to be this, and instead it was that. Perhaps we did everything that we could to have the outcome be one way in the end, and that end turned out to be different.

It isn't fair that that is how life is, sometimes most of the time, is it?

And why not, why is that so hard?

Well, for one, because of these seemingly awry outcomes we have to then turn to acceptance of the outcome that we weren't expecting. And we have to then accept our personal feelings about that outcome and maybe the associated disappointment that we're experiencing because of that unexpected outcome.

We all know what it's like when a situation turns out the way we want it to. We don't have to deal with it very much because it ended up the way we tell ourselves it was supposed to. It ends up in sync with what was meant to be, we tell ourselves.

It is in alignment with the universe and our own personal desire and it wasn't meant to be any other way, we tell ourselves.

The universe loves us and wants to meet all of our needs, we tell ourselves.

There is a whole potpourri of things that we tell ourselves when a situational outcome is in alignment with the expectation that we tied to it.

Oh, and add to that the feelings that we have when something occurs that's aligned with the outcome we had planned for it. We feel elation. We feel satisfaction. We feel deserving right and maybe even indignation. We feel happiness.

We feel, good. That says it all doesn't it.

Maybe we even gloat a little and have an I-told-you-so kind of attitude, as if the situation went the way we expected it to because we just knew it would.

It's interesting how they're both opposite sides of the same coin. They both are identical reactions to the same event. One is high and one is low. One is full of glee, and the other almost despondency.

I think that for most of us, the occurrences that contain the true gold are the events that are not in sync with what we tell ourselves they should be in sync with, essentially, our expectations.

These are the events that are full of tangible value to us, if we're willing to do the inner mining and work to understand ourselves and our reaction to the unexpected outcome.

Perhaps we're feeling dejected and disappointed, and maybe even outright hurt. It's hard to be in a place like that. It's hard to have to accept that life didn't have the same outcome that we had for that event.

It's hard to have to accept the rejection or the disappointment, or the outright outrage at the end of the event. We're essentially stuck with ourselves and our feelings about the event. It didn't go the way we wanted it to. It didn't turn out as we expected. And, depending upon the individual in the midst of the circumstance, we have a multitude of reactions that can and do occur.

But, it doesn't really matter what the personalized reaction to the event is: it's what we do with it.

It really doesn't matter if we feel anger, or rage, or sadness, or disappointment, or fear, or sadness, or grief. These are all almost irrelevant. Yes, they need to be uncovered and discovered and dissolved through constructive and harmless expression. But, they aren't what the real learning and growth in the unexpected outcome can lead to.

That growth and learning comes from how we are with ourselves after an event turns out not to our liking or desiring.

There have been many books written about this. And, obviously these writings by numerous authors are occurring because this is such a necessary lesson that we all have to undergo if we're meant to learn to properly function through all the life disappointments and misaligned experiential endings during our days.

What is actually being referenced here?

Acceptance. Letting go. Being at peace with what is. One with Life.

All of that.

The art of letting go, the science of acceptance is a huge topic. It's something that we aren't very good at as a species. We excel at projecting our desires and demands upon existence, but when the paucity of synchronized outcomes is at its peak, we're at a loss for what to do with ourselves, and our feelings of... (fill in the blank.)

Is there an easy way to accept what is? No, I don't think so. It takes work to accept something that we weren't even desiring or wanting in the first place.

It's a much easier path to walk to rather just cut to the chase and have Life aligned with what we expect. At least that's what we tell ourselves to salve these experiential wounds.

This reminds me of the scene in the Bruce Almighty movie that Jim Carrey starred in several years ago. The gist of the movie was that Jim Carrey's character, Bruce Nolan, was so angry at god that god allowed Bruce to be him for a while. In the scene that is relevant here, after Bruce was given god-like powers he ended up stuck at the back end of a long automobile-clogged street and he was getting frustrated at this mechanized log-jam so he simply waved and parted his hands and the automobiles ahead of him all immediately moved to the side so as to make a straight path along the street upon which he used to drive on and out of the traffic congestion.

That is how we want our lives to go. We want everything to be exactly and continuously aligned with our demands and wants and desires. Till we die. Okay, maybe just until everyone else dies and moves out of our way by their demise.

But, we all know that life doesn't work that way. It simply doesn't.

So, what is it that we can do about this? Well, I can't summarize it here, when others need to write books about this to help their readers understand and hopefully have their lives more in alignment with what they want.

But, I can start off this topic and end this sharing with one simple tidbit of guidance and insight.

See.

Simply see that you want Life to go 'this' way, instead of 'that' way. That's all.

That truly is all that is needed right now, if that is something that you wish to change in your life.

See that you want Life to align with your needs. See that you don't want to change what you want, but rather want to say that life is unfair and isn't turning out the way it should, for you.

Life doesn't care that much about you. It really doesn't.

Life is doing what it is doing. Regardless of you. Regardless of your wants. Regardless of your desires, and whims, and expectations.

It isn't going to change.

But, you can.

And, again...how?

See.

See what, you ask?

See all that is now, inside of YOU next time life goes 'awry'. See as much of you as you can, given the internal tools that you have in your inner toolbox.

Do this as often as you can, when life invariably does what it does, and doesn't align with you.

We'll continue this discussion again, soon, but in the meantime....

See.

Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'

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Posted by Andre Best on March 28, 2010