But there is another way to exist outside of complaining. However, one has to actually desire that way out. And, many, many people don't desire it, nor look for it.

Why? Well, partially because it's nice to complain. It gives one a sense of life and aliveness and accomplishment that perhaps the complaining will actually change the potential or actual outcome of a situation.

But what most complainers don't realize it that the real cost of the complaining is coming at the expense of the inner soul in the complainer.

I'll explain...

Recently, I found myself waiting in the waiting room of a hospital and I was within earshot of a woman who did nothing but complain while she was waiting for her medical event to occur. Oh, and complain she did. Nothing but complaints and comments about the medical establishment, the doctors, the helpers, the system of medical screening. It was amazing to overhear. All she could do was continue complaining about what was happening by resisting what was happening through unmet expectations of the actuality of the current event.

I could see that as long as she could complain she felt a sense of control of the situation that she truly had no control over. No one was making her wait there. No one was saying "I'm going to make this woman wait 45 minutes to see the doctor."

Established systems have delays. And it was nothing more complicated than that. But now she was a part of that system. A 'victim' of it. And this woman was going to make sure, at least to herself, and everyone within hearing distance, that she was not happy with the system and how presumably messed up it was.

It was quite incredible that this woman didn't even notice how her mind was taking her for a trip down Impatience Avenue. Again. But, she appeared to be so caught up in the belief that complaining would somehow change the outcome of the event she was now a part of. But, to me, it only showed how her mind needed to be more aligned with the 'is-ness' of the moment and not attempting to glean a sense of life out of this event through the agitation she felt, and the subsequent complaining that came from her darkness inside, about the situation she was intrinsically now a vital part of.

But, how could she do this? How can anyone escape this dark downward spiralling path? She, and anyone else in similar situations, could accept what is.

This woman could've realized that she was in a Life situation that she could really not have much control over. The outside situation.

And she could've also seen that she had a more important inner Life situation that she had total control over and could dramatically impact the outcome of. Tangibly.

What would that inner Life situation be? Her acceptance of the present moment. Her understanding that her complaining did nothing but hurt her. No one else within earshot of her dark words about what was 'being done to her' really cared about what she had to say. She was the only one who did. And she was the one who was being hurt, hurting herself, actually.

Life offers us so many situations to learn so much about ourselves from it truly is amazing that we can be so blessed at times. But how many of us take up the challenge when Life throws in front of us a situation that simply taxes our patience and causes us to immediately determine how much of the situation we want to accept, or how much we want to complain about.

Complaining is so easy to do. It is something that we have been taught from a very early age as to what is acceptable from a societal standpoint. If one doesn't like a situation, one can complain about it. This offers no real concrete solution to the situation, but it sure offers emotional salve for the wound we were just given through the situation that comes cutting across our life path.

But does this really work? No.

So, what does work? Well, first, an understanding that complaining doesn't work.

And seeing one's past complaining efforts as being fruitless and innerly destructive helps as well. Why? Because this sheds Light on the situation inside one's mind. It breaks the dark connection to the rote past behaviors that never really worked. At least not without the cost of damaging one's soul through the effort of complaining.

Lastly, and once one understands how their will is being taken over through complaining they then have a chance to simply and consciously control their reaction to Life situations. And, yes, at times this will involve one shutting their mouth. Or keeping it shut altogether, and forever, regarding that distasteful situation or event.

Again, is this easy? No. Is it habitual to respond as always? Yes.

But think about the kind of room being built inside one's self when one decides to no longer fill it with dark complaints but instead shine the light of insight and understanding into the space created. That new behavior truly can lead to a life-changing turn of events, just the type that was desired from the beginning. But, in this new way, the house being built, room by room, is filled with openness and space and not filled with darkness from the past.

And think how nice it will be to live in that place from now on. Sweet.

Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'

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