I'm recalling the scene in a movie I find particularly relevant to this topic: Peaceful Warrior. The movie is based on the book 'The Way of the Peaceful Warrior', which was a bestseller a fair number of years ago. I never read the book, but I certainly liked the movie, which underwent limited release a couple of years ago here in North America.

The gist of the movie is the developing and deepening relationship a young college student has with a much older man, whom the student considers to be as mystical as he is annoying at times, as the man becomes a mentor and teacher to the student. The scene in the movie that has particular relevance to this insight is when the older man asks the young fellow what he sees 'going on' as they both look across a park teeming with activity during a beautiful afternoon at a local university. The student replies "There's nothing going on."

Of course, the older man wants to teach the student a lesson so he stands behind the young man and does this Vulcan neck pinch type of hold on him so that the student experiences a very different type of outlook from the one that he revealed via his answer to the older man's question. The student then sees that there are innumerable activities occurring, he just isn't paying enough attention to notice them. Essentially, he's too busy staying inside of his mind to notice what's going on outside of his body.

But, back to my insight from the other night.

My friends and I were discussing many things, but what stayed with me was the discussion on the interplay between people as they relate to one another. We all know how this goes. Something is occurring outside of us, in some manner of situation or event, be it a relationship or a viewing, and this causes activity to occur inside of us.

What would this interior activity be? Feelings, sensation, thoughts, responses.

Now, here's where this all gets good, at least I thought so the other night.

As a corollary to the description of events from the movie I watched, consider that there is not just nothing going on, but that there is nothing going on outside of us.

Think about this.

There's nothing going on outside of us. Everything is occurring inside of us. There is never anything occurring outside of us. It's all an inside job.

What does all this mean? Well, we all pretty much experience this every day of our existence. We all know what this means as this is what occurs all the time with each of us.

And, in fact, I'll bet that many of you don't even think that what I'm imparting here is even worthy of your time to read this article. So, let me attempt to go deeper.

We all know what it's like to be in relationship with someone or some thing, right? We all know what it's like when something happens in the relating that creates a feeling inside of us, as a response to that exterior occurrence.

Well, think of what we do, generally, with the experience.

Something happens in that relating and we feel something inside and then we attempt to make that inner experience an outer one. How? Well, we express our inside sensations, especially if they are part of the whole potpourri of feelings we have, and we attempt to drag whoever is 'responsible' for these inner sensations into our experience.

"She did that to me."

"It's his fault."

"You did this."

"I'm mad at you because you blah blah blah...."

"You did that and I feel this."

The list is endless how we attempt this task of roping others into our personal experience. And, we all know this.

Hitting it from another angle, think about it this way. You have a conflict with another person, say, your partner in life. That person and you argue about something and you find yourself getting angry over the discussion.

What happens then? You argue more and you express your anger and anger-based viewpoint as you argue.

Now, we all know what happens after that: generally, the other person argues back and expresses their anger at you. You want that person to see your side of the argument, and she wants you to see her basis for arguing.

And, essentially, what is occurring here as the two of you argue? Well, you both want to bring the other into your personalized experience.

"I'm mad because you blah blah blah and I want you to see it the way I experienced it."

We all know that dance.

We feel some sensation inside and then we want to bring whomever is responsible for that sensation into the same experience of the sensation. We want them to take on that sensation as we are experiencing it. We want to 'bring them into us.'

If we're angry, we want them to feel/go through/know our anger. If we're sad we want them to feel our sadness. If we're excited, we want them to know what our excitement feels like.

We are doing all that we can to make what's only occurring inside of us, an outside occurrence. But, it isn't possible.

Can we feel anger and have someone else truly experience what it is that we're feeling? No.

Can we experience the utmost excitement and joy and truly have it become a part of another's experience? Actually, no.

Can we experience anything inside of us and have any other person actually experience the exact same experience? Never.

Does this sound too elementary for you? Maybe. But, think about this at depth.

Think how many times each and every day you go to great lengths to get other people to share your experiences. And what are these 'experiences'? Well, simply, what is occurring in you.

Can you truly externalize these experiences? You can try.

You can speak about them.

You can write about them.

You can yell about them.

You can smile about them.

You can physically express them.

But, they're still only occurring inside of you. Oh, yes, there's a lot of them, all day long. But, they're still only occurring inside of you. They'll never be occurring outside of you.

Can you create an event outside of you that reflects what is occurring inside of you? Sure.

That's why we argue, make babies, and have wars throughout existence. We want the inner to become the outer so we don't have to go it alone and feel lonely throughout our existence.

We want to somehow find a way to share what is occurring inside of us with the world. Even if the world at the moment is that person standing in front of you as you angrily spew spit in their face, or share tears of joy as you laugh while describing that funny thing you experienced the other day.

It's all really amazing to me this aspect of every one of us. True, there is never nothing going on outside of us. But contrastingly, there is always so, so much going on inside of us, yet never anything occurring outside of us.

Now, I know this seems contradictory and doesn't make sense as all you have to do is look around the space you're in as you read these words, or feel the weight of your body on the chair you're sitting on or ground you're standing on, and you have proof of this seemingly contradictory insight I'm sharing.

But, you do know that no matter how much you scrunch up your eyes and tell yourself there's no place like home and you then wish things differently, you are never, ever, whatsoever going to be able to truly have anyone else experience what you do. Period.

They may know it.

They may know something similar to what you're sharing with them.

They may think they know what you mean or are talking about.

But, truly, it's not the same and it never will be.

You can never externalize what is inside of you. You are traveling this existential path in life alone throughout time. It's your experience and yours only. No one else can share it. No one else can genuinely be brought into your experiences of Life. It's yours alone.

Can you attempt the contrary? Sure.

Can you 'argue till the cows come home' (whatever that saying implies)? Yes.

Will it work? No.

So, how can this insight be of help to you? Well, with reference to the fact that 'there is never anything occurring outside of you', you can herein stop many useless efforts to bring anything outside of you into what you're experiencing.

Think of the energy and effort that will remain yours as you stop this. Think of how many arguments you'll be saved from participating in and/or trying to convince that other person of 'your side' of the argument.

Think of the positive impact you'll have in your experiences as you stop holding anyone or anything outside of you responsible for what you're feeling inside. Think of the magnitude of just that one outcome. It's truly staggering.

You'll stop trying to get others to see your viewpoint, and your side of things. And, instead, you'll just be experiencing what you're experiencing and you'll be focusing on that without making useless efforts to externalize the internal.

You'll just be there, as you already are. No embellishments, no attempts to vacuum up others into your miasma of inner sensations. It'll all just stop.

And what will be the salient result of all this? You'll learn about life from another perspective.

You'll be there...alone. As you always already were. But now you'll know it. Now you'll experience it. By yourself. With your Self. As it should be. As it is.

Remember: you already know, now you merely have to see what already is occurring all the time inside of you. It's all an inside job, always has been.

Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'

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