Let's also mention the relationships we have with: concepts, the environment, the planet, theories, philosophies, ideas, rationalizations, understandings, constructs, abstractions, ideologies, hope, dreams, wishes, mindsets, angels, feelings, pains, pasts, wants.

The list is truly endless, isn't it?

So, in spite of the fact that we have all of these relationships, why is it that we are still seeking that one unquestionable, undeniable, incontrovertible, perfect relationship? You know the one.

The relationship to end all relationships. THAT one.

The relationship that will end the pain of existence that if we're so lucky to be aware of we strive to escape, or if we're not so fortunate but instead live through unbeknownst to us -- unknowing, we strive to reach this place of completeness.

Yet, this all goes on in spite of the many dozens or even hundreds of relationships we have which are given to us, created along the way, and inherited through this mortal coil. So, this begs the question: why isn't this enough? And you know it isn't, right?

Why do we for the most part, go through our lives wanting to have that perfect relationship with that person, object, or transitory sensation that happens to momentarily cross our path during our day? The one relationship that is supposed to end all the pain and suffering and niggling knowledge of something being out of kilter in life?

Why do we do that?

Doesn't it sound like our existential Life plates are already filled and overflowing with a cornucopia of relationships of all imaginable and unimaginable kinds?

Kind of befuddling, if you ask me.

I would like to proffer an answer to the many somewhat rhetorical questions I posed above. Although this is obviously only to be taken as coming from my perspective, which some might view, as being inordinately limited in the scheme of things and life experiences and so forth: it is what it is -- my opinion only.

I surmise that the reason that we are seeking the relationship to end all relationships is because we don't have a relationship with ourselves. Period.

Or, to state it more bluntly, and simply: we don't know who we are.

We think that we do. We think that we have everything in our busy, but realistically tiny lives in a copacetic manner and state, but really we don't. And we don't know that we don't. So we continue to fill our seemingly full life with more (empty) relationships, all the while not seeing the reality of the situation we're living. We think "This time this thing, or this relationship is going to be of a different type, as those last ones didn't work."

A new man. A new woman. A better looking person in the morning mirror. A new car. A new set of clothes. That enticing container of chocolate ice cream at the local supermarket. That next television reality drama. That tasty slice of pizza. The whole pizza. That next sensual sex session, either solitary, or with someone, or many people.

Take your pick.

These are all a striving to find ourselves in relationship with something or someone, so that we don't have to be in relationship with ourselves.

Now, I don't really need to go into great depth here about what it is that we're attempting to escape from, or running towards. That's been the subject of other articles I've written. And, it may be the subject of future articles again: whatever it takes to get the message across.

My point here is that unbeknownst to us we are all striving to get ourselves into a new and hopefully lasting connection with a part of ourselves that is screaming out for connection with something, any thing, as long as the connection is made. Again, and again, and again.

This is crazy-making and setting ourselves up for hurt at every point of contact. It's setting us up for connections that are short-lived, shallow, and superficial to the greatest extent.

It doesn't create connections that are going to last and actually allow for the so-called filling of that relationship hole that we're all seeking to bury.

Is there a way out? Perhaps, if one is willing to do the work to find out. Truly find out.

Firstly, see that there is something inside that is desiring to be filled. Perhaps physically, and perhaps psychologically. Perhaps both. It's an individual thing, and only you know what fits the situation that you might be living from.

Secondly, understand that there are relationships, and there are real-ationships. Relationships are a dime a dozen. Relationships are so commonplace that everyone thinks that they know everything about them and can proffer advice to others at the drop of a hat, or for a price. Why?

Because everyone has so many of them and will continue to do so, so everyone has relationship advice to offer to those relationship-deprived folks seeking that next fix in whatever the category might be, as described above.

But, how many people actually know about a REALationship? What's a realationship? The type of relationship that doesn't fit that mold of relating where the foundation is based on need and wanting, and lusting, and escaping, and desiring to find, and pain, and given by default.

How many people actually are in a realationship with themselves, or better yet, with another person? And, that Other being someone else who actually is real with themselves and has that to offer to the relating at hand?

When two people are in connection based on what's real for the situation, a symbiotic connection occurs but it isn't based on something that is driving them to that connection. It's based on an intent of experiencing being real with the Other and with each other. It's a true seeing and an experiencing of the is-ness of each other.

This is a true relationship. This is a relationship that isn't built on the same ol', same ol' foundation that everyone has in their days and through their birth. It's not something that is found, or given.

It's created.

A realationship is real. Plain and simple it's something that is pure, and filled with genuine connection that comes from the essence of both in the partnering. It's not forced. It's not from a wanting to escape to, or run from. It's not inspired by a wanting to join so as to benefit from that transpiration. It is a bonding of the most unique sort.

Realating is real. Realating is what is experienced when a connection occurs in the most base way. Is it based on love? No.

It's based on the abject commonality that we all share. Our Presence. Our Essence.

These real relationships are relationships that are in existence because of the people in the relationship who are able to open themselves up and allow their core presence to be what the relationship, whatever type or nature it might be, is based on and grows from. This is what makes the relationship so special, so atypical.

It's something that can only occur because those in the relationship are allowing themselves to be as open and truly, genuinely vulnerable as they humanly can. No holds barred. No thing is off-limits. It's all real. It's all sacred, not through a definition, but because it just is.

Does that sound like a relationship for you?

Does that sound like the type of reality that you would want in a relationship with someone or many in your life?

It is possible.

It is do-able. But, only if you're wiling to be real.

When you open yourself up to the purity of existence as a human: the 100% special human that YOU are, and nobody else is like, or ever has been, or ever will be like -- when you allow that to show, you can't but help to have others who are like you become drawn to you like a moth to a light.

It's inescapable and inevitable. And, it's a relationship of the most real kind.

Want to move from relationshipping to REALationshipping?

Open. Just that. Open your Self. Open your relationship with your Self. Be real.

Then stay open to what happens in all your relationships. Stay real.

Develop a love relationship with the realness of you and you might just find that you'll love all relationships with you. What a sweet, unexpected Life comeback that will be, eh?

Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'

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P.S. Thank you Casey for being Real with me.