Think about what happens behind all the obvious reasons for doing or not doing what we want to do. Think about it. What happens inside of you when you find yourself doing something that you know you really don't want to be doing? Afterwards, you beat yourself up in some way. You berate yourself. You go on a guilt trip. Right?

Why does all this happen? Why not just not do it and be done with it?

Well, first, there's a nature inside of us that wants us to be in angst. It wants us to be in conflict with ourselves. It makes us say 'yes', when we really want to say 'no' to a situation. It wants us to be acting from a place of supposed agreement so we think that we absolutely have to do what it is that is being presented to us.

For the vast majority of us there is a part of each of us, a nature in us, that wants us to not do what we need to do to help ourselves and take care of our needs. Even a need as simple as saying 'no' to some activity that would be going against what it is that we know best serves our interest. And, then saying 'yes' to the activity or the decision that allows us to take care of ourselves, perhaps even at the expense of someone else being disappointed.

This is kind of like the paraphrasing I share here as it relates to St. Paul's statement that he found himself "doing the evil he didn't want to do, instead of the good he wanted to do."

It's not easy to give ourselves what we need. It's not easy for most to allow themselves to put their self first in their life. Most of us have to put others, and other activities, and other things ahead of our own needs and wants and desires. And this usually creates conflict, angst, and guilt for most.

You see, sometimes, many times, Life wants and asks us to say 'no' to what someone else wants. Even at the supposed expense of 'needs' of the other that heretofore were deemed unacceptable. And many times our Spirit is screaming out to us to have us listen to what it is telling us we need to feed it at a particular moment. It's just that most times we aren't listening.

You see, by being 'nice' when we would rather stay quiet, by being 'agreeable' when we'd rather not be, are examples of two types of actions, amongst many, that unbeknownst to us are slowly eating away at our Soul. And, also, are usually causing us to feel animosity and resentment towards the person or persons on the other side of the situations causing this usually habituated action in us.

It's not easy to say no. Even if it's to ourselves. It's something that we were trained to not do as children. We were trained to obey. We were trained to follow the rules, and follow the leader...usually blindly. And this is what we did as we grew up and we began to become ever more so a part of a busy and demanding society and all its needs.

But, there is a way out. However, this way is generally something that is not widely accepted, but it is something that can be widely used.

Simply put yourself first and put your needs first, when you're clear that this is an appropriate action to take and won't be actually harming anyone or anything else. We are not talking about large and immense activities here. We're talking the small stuff that impacts us and makes us whittle down our character and our own needs until there is nothing left to live from.

This is what is meant, in this aspect, by the road less travelled.

...Taking the hard way.

...Making a clear path in life.

...Going against the grain.

These all cause what appears as strife in our life. But, in the end these decisions, and then actions, are also ways for us to take care of what truly should matter most...

Our Self.

And our Spirit. We all have one.

And when we're doing only the things that our Spirit wants us to do, even things that don't appear prudent, like saying 'no', we'll find that we are much better able to live with our selves, because we're taking care of ourselves first, and in a sideways manner the needs of others via our placing ourselves first. We've all heard the saying "If you want to take care of others, take care of yourself first."

Again, all of this has to be taken with consideration of the true needs of others such as children, and those in need of genuine impacting help. And, of course, our bosses and co-workers, and other important affairs of that sort. I think you know what is being relayed here as to what type of situations this effort can be made. That is, situations where primarily only you will be aware that you stood up for your Soul by saying 'no'.

I think that many of us can find many instances during our day where we were and would be better served were we to say 'no' to that situation. Anything from saying 'no' to that next donut, to saying 'no' to that telemarketer who is asking for our time when we're truly busy, and all the way to saying 'no' when someone wants us to stand up from our chair and do something that we don't really feel comfortable doing and we know in our Heart of Hearts that saying 'no' is the right thing to do.

There are many ways in Life where one can say 'no' to an event and by doing so know that they are also saying 'yes' to what the heart and Soul want. And if you are that person appropriately saying 'no' when before you inappropriately used to say 'yes', you might find yourself pleasantly surprised how much better you feel knowing that you're honoring your Spirit.

And, since you're now not eating that next donut...can I have it? Please?

Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'

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