I've always known that this 'spiritual thing' is not usual for most humans who are seeking someone to share life with. I've been there on that side of the dance as well for all of my prior dating life. What does that side include? Well, the usual: sex, fun, doing, and simply finding enough in common to warrant continuing to hang out together and if again warranted deepened through a more formal connection if both are so inclined.

But, as I've come out the other side of that dance with partners who've been in my life to-date, I've noticed and embraced the intangible aspect of life, and of existence. It's something that can't be spoken about, per se. But it can be shared. It can be shared through being with the other in a way outside the societal norm and expectation. It involves choosing to see the ever-present aspect of life that is always with us and yet unseeable and, yes, unknowable. Although it sounds contradictory, it is something that when one is 'seeking', does make sense, if not without consideration of the further torment when it can't be 'claimed' no matter how hard one tries to get a firm hold on it.

So, back to the question of my best friend.

I didn't have an immediate answer for him. In fact, I was actually stumped when trying to piece together an answer that felt 'right' to me and really embraced what it was that I was tasting through my spiritual journey during the last decade or so, and as I now dance alone through my existence yet wanting that to change to a pairing and a sharing.

I couldn't answer him outright. Here I'd been searching for a partner in life for a few years now and I couldn't even encapsulate what it was that I was trying to insert into the empty spaces of my busy life and overlay over some of those times too. It's kind of like that old saying that if you don't know what you're looking for, you've found it. Well, I guess I realized that I had found what I was looking for, as I'm still single. And still looking for Mrs. Goodbar.

Since that dinner, I've realized that my so-called definition of what a spiritual connection means to me is a moving containment. It has changed over the years, and yet in some areas it remains static. To me, a spiritual connection is one that includes a consideration and a focus, maybe not wholly, on the aspect of existence that can't be seen. It's there, but it can't be seen. Does that mean to focus on what we are told by others? Well, maybe, at times. But only if those others are truly in the know and on the same path as what one is seeking for their own definition of spirituality.

For me, it means spiritual, not religious. I've never been one for religion. Too structured and too 'thou shalt' and 'thou shalt not'. Please, I get way more than enough of that every day working for the many-layered bureaucracy I've chosen to work for for many years now.

So, spiritual, not religious. Spiritual, and by that I mean not just about doing. Life is about doing, but there is more than just doing. There is being. Being with life. Being with oneself. Being with existence and all the innate glories that that involves. I don't consider myself overly spiritual, but what I do do is to understand and focus on the layer of being that occurs just before and during all actions on the physical, mental, emotional and relational plane. In all ways, throughout every day. Is this extreme to some? Perhaps. But, for others, they know what I'm saying when I write that I understand that there is something here besides us. What that something is? In my opinion, no one really knows, but there is something here that is living with us.

I so, so much like the analogy of one of my current guides on this journey, John Sherman. He shares that life is kind of like reading a book. When one is reading a book and reading the words and letters that make up those words one is not truly aware that the letters are on and surrounded by the white of the page. The white of the page is there, but it isn't noticed or paid any attention to. It exists along with the words on the page, but it doesn't interfere with the words or the meaning they convey to the reader. John says that life is like that. There is an ever-present awareness that we live in and from and with and it has always been here in every one of us. But, we haven't been aware of it. Or paid any heed to it. But, just because we are (not) doing that, doesn't mean that it isn't here.

I like that analogy.

To me, it really hones in on what I work at very hard to centralize in my life and my existence, as hard as it may be at times: depending upon the situation and the person or people I'm surrounded by and relating to. I'm human after all, and the journey ain't compete yet!

But, it does make for an interesting study throughout one's days here. It's a study that I can't ever see myself giving up on. It's something that is a part of me and something that I know to exist in me and around me and all of us. Even though we aren't aware of it. Is it a belief? No, sounds like it is, but it isn't. I work to make it a knowing: a seeing of what is and always has been.

Does that mean that I go every summer for a few weeks to the mountains to sit in a cave and hum to myself? No.

Does that mean that I delve into four hours of severe meditation every day come hell or high water? No.

Does that mean that I delve into every new book and teaching and tape, and CD, and DVD, and session, and retreat, and presentation that makes its way into my life in some fashion?

To all of that a hearty 'no'. Of course not.

To me, my spirituality is fluid. It's in an ever-present state of flux. It's a focused continuous effort of separating the dross of life and finding what lies underneath to form the structure of existence in this mortal coil we all share.

Life is so joyful and such a blessing, but to understand and include in one's days the understanding and the intent to know the underbelly of life and what it has to show us that was heretofore unseen, that, THAT, is spirituality to me.

Need I say more? Of course I could (and probably will in another future article) but would it make any more sense to anyone who isn't on the spiritual path and coming from this somewhat esoteric bent in life? Probably not.

So, there you have it, and there I have it: at least for right now as I'm still evolving in this carcass and soul that I've been handed. This definition of spirituality I've written about herein will change, similar to me. But, regardless, let's see what comes of this spiritual sharing and pairing we've shared via these words, as a spiritual connection can occur via any avenue - even a very verbose, windbaggy, soapboxey type of blog entry such as this which I'm prone to creating.

Come back for more if your spirit so guides you. Especially if you're a slender, non-smoking woman. And you're single. And you're seeking -- say -- a tall, slender, multi-ethnic, single dad with a French name like, hmmmmm. . .Andre.

Tricked you, didn't I?

I forgot to mention that being spiritual can also be quite FUN!

Written by Andre Best
President, Ultimate Results, Inc.
http://www.andrebest.com
'Learn About Life From Another Perspective'

(P.S. I was serious about the single women comments though. ;-)

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