We discussed our connection, which to-date, has been for almost 33 years now and, with consideration that we still maintain regular and frequent contact and then find ourselves talking on the phone for hours in spite of us living in separate countries, is quite remarkable. At least we thought so.

We were talking about the communications that we've had of late with the women in our lives, and the struggle that exists to establish a communicative connection, and then maintain it such that both parties in the relating are satisfied. That's not an easy task.

We've both had connections with women from a sexual/intimate relationship sense, more me than him because he's been married for almost 30 years now, that did pose challenges and cause questioning as to the reason(s) behind the failure of the connection first to be created, and then maintained.

It's not easy to maintain a deep connection at length with someone. Now, it's easy to say 'deep connection', because that is virtually meaningless unless properly defined.

For me, it's easy to define when I think of the relationship that I have with my best friend. Yet, it's kind of hard to put into words, especially after a multi-decade connection such as what we share and shared telephonically again last night.

I told him that I was looking for a deep connection with a woman and he questioned me again as to what that was for me. I found that it was quite easy to ascertain exactly what I was meaning with what I stated.

I told him that I've found that a strong and lasting connection is established based on a mutual intent between the parties. That is, this type of connection occurs when both parties in the relationship are able to relate in such a way that the priority of the connection is such that the times when the communication breaks down and conflicting situations and perspectives arise, both parties are able to hold close the priority of the connection, in spite of the conflict present.

Let me rephrase, because that was one long run-on sentence.

I told him that I've found the strongest connections I've had, in this case with a woman, occur when both of us come from a mindset that we know that communication is key and extremely strengthening, or damaging to the connection. If the communication is held as top priority no matter what the external situation is between us, then the communication is used during that time to foster a continuation of the connection whilst that conflict is worked out.

What I've found in many connections is that most women I've been in relationship simply do not want to hold onto that priority when the relationship is experiencing conflict. They instead come from a perspective of 'being right' and working hard to maintain that position, usually at the expense of attempting to 'get me to see' that I'm the one responsible for the conflict, always. Of course, this is not endemic between men and women only, I believe it's simply a communication-, personality-, temperament-type outcome between the two.

Now, what exactly does this dynamic contain when this is happening? To me, the other person is coming from a position of fear. Not facing their fear is more important to them then maintaining the communication between us, in spite of the conflict that needs to be worked through.

When both people in a connection come from a position when they're both sitting on the couch discussing, perhaps strongly, some issue that occurred or arose between them and both are sitting there with the intent and the desire to maintain the communication and explore it, the connection between them, right then and there, is at a critical point of either flourishing or floundering.

It will flounder when the position of one or both of them is such that 'the other is wrong' and 'needs to be shown that'. It will flounder when the position of one of them is such that no matter what the abject proof that shows that they did have input into the current conflict, they are 'not accountable/wrong'.

However, the relationship and the connection will flourish when both people in the connection realise and come from a position that this is a time to work through the conflict, no matter who is 'responsible' for it. It's not a matter of proving one person wrong. It's not a matter of getting the other to see their 'fault' in the matter. It's not a matter of both being so self-righteous and indignant that the truth simply is not able to be discussed.

It's a matter of knowing that both are in a relationship. Both are in a human connection that requires communication as a foundation for the connection. The connection is built and maintained and strengthened by that connection. The communication will have conflicting perspectives at times, because both are human. And both have a past. And both have emotional communication baggage, so to speak. No one, without exception, is without 'baggage' in an emotional connection.

We all have a past. We've all experienced hurt by/from others in this past we tell ourselves we have. This past can at times strongly dictate the experiencing of conflict now. It can lead us to struggle in our connection, and it can lead us to end the connection when the conflict is too scary to face and resolve, once and for all.

The baggage that we all have, however, can be dealt with in the midst of the connections and relationships that we all have. It can be dealt with face-first and head-on, full-bore and hard-core. But, both in the connection have to want that as an outcome.

Think of having a connection with someone, say an intimate sexual relationship with a partner and conflict arises after a while, which it inevitably will for all the reasons identified above.

What have we all experienced to-date when that happens? Well, that too was described above. It's not pretty, is it, and we've all 'been there, done that'.

When both people do not embrace that need for a sharing and bonding through communication during those times of conflict, the relating will be seen as a 'proving the other wrong', showing oneself as 'being right and not at fault', winning and not losing, gaining the upper hand at the moment, and showing the other that 'I am perfect, and you're not'.

Think of how many times we have each come from that standpoint when in a conflicting situation in the midst of an intimate connection. It hasn't been fun, has it?

But what happens when both people DO hold dear in their heart and embrace the need for intimate sharing during times of conflict in the relationship? Well, I know that were that to happen the conflict would enable the connection to strengthen and bond the two like no other way outside of the sexual bedroom.

This would occur because both are coming from a place inside where it's not important to 'win', or 'be right', or 'prove the other wrong', or 'not my fault'-ing the other, or 'blaming the other for hurting me', or.....

Both would, instead, be coming from a place where they know that this an expected experience in a human connection and that this can be worked through in spite of the baggage that each has. Bluntly, this can be worked through to allow one, or both, to let go of the emotional communication baggage that is brought to the connection.

But, in order for that to happen, there has to be trust in the connection. Once the trust is there, the conflict is allowed to flourish through to resolution.

Think of it this way.

If both people are able to trust the other and know that the other is not coming from a position of needing to be right, no matter if they are or not, and that the other is able to fully and completely own their baggage that contributed to the current conflict, then how could trust and openness and sharing not be present, through to resolution? It most certainly would be.

Once both knew and trusted that the other would own their crap, when it needed to be owned, then both would open to a depth of intimacy that would allow, finally and fully, the necessary healing to occur, individually, in the midst of connection. Think of that.

Healing as an individual in the midst of a connection.

How many of us had that outcome in the past? I'll bet very, very few of us.

So, what can be gleaned from this overly long article?

Simply, want a satisfying relationship that lasts decades? Be in relationship such that you're able to open yourself and trust the other, and be in relationship with an other whom you learn is able to open and trust you. When that type of connection is present, then the connection itself will be able to be explored through all the mountains and valleys of the connection, together, in trust.

This is not to say that hurt will not occur. This is not meaning blithely acquiescing to the other. This is not espousing forsaking one's true needs.

This is simply being in a relationship that holds trust of the other dearly, no matter the present communication situation.

It's time to unpack the baggage. Permanently.

When both in relationship do that, simply and consistently, a magical connection is forged and continually strengthened, in spite of it being between humans with emotional communication baggage.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

I've found that it comes about from a need to know the elusive answer to the question that has plagued humankind for millennia, I suspect. It's the unanswerable question that so many try to ascertain an answer to so as to be able to explain away this existence.

I too was there at that place several years ago. I too wanted to know the answer to the question and to glean final understanding as to what the purpose of life and of existence is. I too was seeking an answer that would make sense to me, with consideration of the place that I was in at the time and the circuitous route that had brought me there to the point of questioning.

We wonder.

We beg for answers but then find out or are told that it must come from us. We must be the one who answers the question. After all, it truly does become a final understanding or knowing, no matter where the answer comes from. Someone can tell us the answer to the begged question, but it still has to be an answer that has a tacit acceptance from within.

That is, unless we blithely go along with the answer, it's not going to be something that we're simply going to accept. If we're asking the question we want to understand the answer enough that it makes sense and so that we don't have to simply take it on faith. If we were to accept that approach we wouldn't be asking the question in the first place.

I remember an earlier blog article here wherein I did my best to summarize my understanding at the time of what the purpose to life is/was. It all boiled down to my understanding that there is no purpose. There is nothing here that we are meant to do or to become. Of course, we all do our best to be the best we can be and all that stuff. But, in the end, the purpose is of no consequence as we will all end up in the same place as all of our ancestors.

It simply doesn't matter to figure this out. The answer we are seeking and even someday may find won't answer the niggling sense that gave rise to the question.

What is the purpose of life can be answered in a delicious number of ways, as so many have done before me. I can again add my answers to this subject but it won't really matter, I've now found.

I did my best to understand what my purpose of living and existence was. I read the books. I went to the meetings. I had the quiet contemplative moments. I had the discussions. I sought out the experts. I questioned. Period.

What came of it?

Well, nothing. In actuality.

It's been years now since I first wondered. I wanted to know. I needed to know. I had to have an answer that stopped that niggling sense of dissatisfaction with existence that followed me through my days. We all know that feeling. It's there when we're alone. It's there when we look in the mirror in the morning. Most of us choose to not to see it.

That's okay. There's no condemnation here for that direction. I was there for so many years too. I know the reasons behind not acknowledging it. There's too much at stake in one's life, usually. That's okay.

But, no matter what the answer was surmised to be. No matter what it was thought to contain, the answer was found to not matter in the least.

Why not? Because of one simple understanding of late.

The answers don't matter because the question doesn't matter.

"Whoa, back the truck up Andre! What do you mean the question doesn't matter? How can the question not matter?!"

Easy, it simply doesn't. The answer is not needed when the question doesn't need to be asked.

The question doesn't need to be asked because the question doesn't matter either. Ergo, the answer to the question isn't necessary because the question is unnecessary.

This is where I'm at now. I see that the answer is irrelevant, as the question is pointless. It's actually kinda silly to ask the question about the purpose of life.

Go ahead and find a purpose. Make it a good one. Make it the best one you can possibly think of. I implore you to do so. I'm with you all the way with this.

I'm not saying stop doing what you believe to be your purpose of life. I'm not saying to stop questioning for an answer that makes sense to you.

We all have to go the way and along the route that we go. I did. You do too. No one is trying to dissuade you from your direction.

I had to go it my way, we all do. I'm not here to change anyone. I'm here to add insights to others' paths, hopefully.

What I'm working to relay here is that the question to determine one's purpose in life is pointless, because asking the question simply doesn't matter.

We're all going to go the route that we're going to go. Whatever that may be. Finding out the purpose to one's life is good. It may even be necessary, but in the end what will happen will happen. Whether we understand our purpose or not.

There is no purpose to life. Truthfully. There is just life.

Life is living itself. Life is living us. We are being lived and yet we want to find out what Life has in store for us and what it wants us to do.

Well, as long as we're asking the question about our purpose, that's what Life wants us to do. And when we stop asking and living in another way with existence, that is, again, what Life wants.

We don't have to worry about our purpose. Let Life live us. Let Life live. It will anyway. It is already.

The mind wants to figure all this out so that it all makes sense. As we've all experienced, reaching that point of confirmation never truly and fully arrives, does it?

So, understand that there is no reason for the question. Then there's a knowing and a complete seeing that the answer is meaningless because the question is pointless.

Have a need to ask the question? Then ask it for as long as you need to.

But, if you're beginning to see that the answers never suffice and satisfy then perhaps you're reaching the understanding that the one who has the need for the question is truly asking to be lived fully and outright.

I know that we all want to have life figured out, all along the way. I know that that doesn't occur that way for virtually all of us. But, that doesn't stop us from asking the question and then waiting for or trying to figure out the answer.

Just see this from the above perspective, instead.

Ask 'what is the purpose of life?'

Then, for starters, understand that there is no purpose to even the questionING.

Eventually, one day, you'll know that there isn't even a questionER.

But, that's fodder for another impending article.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

Do we find ourselves seeking it out? Do we find ourselves looking for it? Of course not. No one wants to purposely feel sad. It's not a fun feeling. Of course, there probably are the select few who relish in the thought of continuing sadness, but I'm not one of those.

Life comes at us. Hard, sometimes. And when it does and we're not prepared for what it is about to deal to us, we react and are caught in its wake of affects, and emotions. When sadness is part of the mix, the heaviness of the implosion can seem daunting.

Can it turn into abject grief? Sure, if one allows it to continue too long and maybe even wallows in it extensively enough to have it go there.

When sadness is present, we don't want it to be. It's one of those feelings that we'd just rather not feel. It's one of those feelings that affects all that we do during our waking hours. We can be busy, but the sadness is just 'there'. It's hanging around in the background, slightly affecting whatever it is that we're trying to busy our day up with so as to forget this painful feeling.

Sadness is a missing of something.

It's a missing of feeling happy.

It's a missing of that loved person.

It's a missing of those beautiful experiences.

It's a missing of that special relationship and connection.

It's a missing of that special feeling related to that past experience.

It's sadness.

"I'm sad because something is missing", we cry.

"Something happened that I wasn't expecting", we say.

"Something occurred that wasn't supposed to occur", we state.

"That thing didn't turn out the way I was expecting!", we shout.

"I didn't want that to happen!", we scream.

It could be anything.

The dropping of an ice cream cone on the sidewalk.

The end of a relationship, be it unexpectedly, by death, or by choice.

The failing of an exam.

The gaining of weight.

A cancelled plan.

A pimple on the nose.

A pimple on the butt.

There are many reasons that we find ourselves sad, reasonable or not. We've all been here and we all seek ways to not be sad, when the sadness is present to us. We can run from it, but we can't escape it because no matter where we go, it's here with us.

I believe that sadness can easily turn into depression if left unchecked. It can become toxic and so heavy that a person gets fully consumed with it and doesn't have an outlet to release it. It needs to be released though.

It can be medicated away somewhat. It can be denied, if one chooses that. The loss can be pined for, over and over, if one so chooses.

Or, one can know that no matter how much the heart aches, the pain will pass, in time.

The memories will still be present. They're there in the mind. They're not going anywhere, outside of sudden amnesia.

But, the splitting open of the heart will pass. The why behind it will still be there, but the feel of it won't.

It could take days. It could take weeks. It could take decades, which I would hope isn't the case for anyone. But it will pass.

Sadness is one of those feelings that we don't want to feel. We all want it to go away when it is present.

But, I have found that sadness needs to be felt. Not wallowed in: felt. It needs emotional processing. The open wound, tiny or big, needs healing. It needs to be fully exposed to cleanse and then it will scab over and close, in time.

It doesn't fully heal when it is not felt and acknowledged. It doesn't need to be understood. It needs to be felt, deeply, if needed.

The loss of something creates a sadness that we want to escape from, run from, but there is nowhere to run, because the sadness is in us. It's present, it's ever-present. It permeates and taints all of our daily moments, until it doesn't.

It's a wound that will heal, no matter how great the cause of it. The larger the loss, the longer the necessary healing. It's the way of things, as it is with many things.

Sadness is not fun. Sadness is a feeling that almost no one seeks out. But life does what life does and it keeps bringing itself to us on a platter, and then throws itself at us, wanted or not.

We can put salve on the wound and think that because it feels better that all is well. Or we can allow ourselves to healthily and functionally process the needed healing in such a way that the wound is closed and just a scar is left to sometimes see.

The emotional scars in relationships are not fun. Those are the ones that impact future relationships.

Everyone has them, but those that are healed and allowed to heal in a healthy human manner are the ones that just leave a scar, not an intermittently bleeding wound that opens up every so often. Those aren't fun. Those are the ones that are damaging until fully healed in an effective and proper way.

So, what's the insight here? Life happens and life hurts us. It makes us see that we're human. it makes us feel that we are a human with feelings. It makes us see that we were a person with expectations and wants and plans and needs, that perhaps didn't work out as we truly wanted them to and were wanting.

Life does that. It throws us a curve ball when we wanted something else. We don't want the stuff that hurts. We don't want to be hurt when things go the way they go, not the way we wanted them to go.

We don't want to have to face that there is very little happening here that is in our control and within our planning efforts and wishes and wants and expectations.

And when we're shown this, we just have to be with the feeling of disappointment and sadness that comes up. Feel it, fully, till it goes away.

Will that bring back the unmet need or wanted outcome that we had? Probably not. But it will heal the wound.

It will help it close so that the days are brighter again. Someday.

Hopefully sooner, rather than later.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

I have one such co-worker, Barbara, who was involved with my life from the very first time I submitted an employment application with my employer way back in the late summer of 1994. Barbara was integral to me getting hired. She convinced her boss at the time that I was the person to be hired, out of a roster of 136 applicants for the position.

Barbara was the supervisor of other office workers, and although I would never report directly to her, I did work with her in the same work division since I was hired. I went to her uncountable times over the past 17 years though for advice and comments on both work and personal sharings.

Barbara's Retirement - 2011

Barbara is now retiring from our workplace, after an almost 31 year career.

She is a testament to the power of persistence in the workplace. The several positions she held at work were not all her choosing. Her work positions were eliminated, which happens with our employer, and she was moved into an existing or created position so as to keep her employed. This happened three times over Barbara's career. Each time her work responsibility was changed such that she had to learn from anew her role in the new position. She continued to do this over the decades, as needed. Now she oversees a section at work that includes 15 employees.

I consider this a reflection of what Barbara brought to the work environment: her personality. I recall the statement that a senior executive management individual made during a celebration we held for Barbara's 30th work anniversary. He stated that Barbara was the only person that he knew that would tell you 'no', and you would feel good about it. He said that that was a rare gift that she had. I knew exactly what he was meaning, as I've experienced this with her or seen her do this many times over the past 17 years.

Barbara has weathered several life changing events during the time I've worked with her. I won't detail these, but I will share the professional manner with which she managed these events. I have seen Barbara traverse difficult personal and work situations with tact and professionalism throughout. She never let her emotions get the better of her at work, especially when other's would've, and did. She would often tell me during our tete-a-tete's in her cubicle that we all had problems in life but that didn't mean that we had to bring the problems to work or let them impact how we dealt with our co-workers.

I remember a particular example of this. I had another co-worker for the past ten years, in another department, whom I worked with on a fairly complicated document development project over several years. A few years ago, this person once directed the anger held about a work situation directly at me when we were discussing the work project. This person later sent an email to apologize for what happened and stated that this event was uncalled for and undeserved to be directed at me.

After this event, I met with Barbara to share with her how I was glad that she never treated me this way, in spite of personal challenges (which we all have), and that she always treated me with respect and professionalism, regardless of whether she was guiding, praising, or questioning me on work matters. Before that event I simply did not know how fortunate I was that Barbara was the way she was. Things could've been much worse, considering the daily exposure I had with Barbara since we were on the same close work team. She could've been like this other person with her work style, and were this the case, my work environment would've been quite different and much less enjoyable.

We did not always agree on work matters, as we had quite different work functions, and mine would impact her work outcomes at time. Regardless, Barbara continued to work professionally towards the same outcome as me and throughout displayed a recognition that I was a coworker with deadlines as well as a human with feelings, irrespective of what significant and impacting personal concerns were on her mental plate at the time.

Having Barbara in my life changed my life, literally. I have sometimes thought about what my life path would be like if she had not persistently convinced her boss at that time to hire me. It's all unprovable speculation, but having her do that changed the way my life is to-date. When I was first hired, I was in my early 30's. I had only been in Arizona, and the U.S. for a couple of years. I had only been married a couple of years. I didn't have children. Health care plans for my family and future earning potential wasn't part of my vocabulary. Retirement wasn't even a glimmer in my thoughts.

When I first started working with Barbara and her work group at the time, I actually only saw myself working there for a couple of years, and then moving on. I had 'a plan'.

But, plans change, as we all know.

After being hired, mine included something that I hadn't experienced to-date in this country: enjoyment. I enjoyed my work. I enjoyed having Barbara as a work resource and squeezing a great amount of institutional knowledge out of her head. She was a great resource to bounce ideas off so as to separate the dross from the useful project material. She shared an opinion that I included in my opining about many projects, large and small. She was a person who would drop whatever it was that she was doing, when I would sit down in her cubicle, so as to offer me her full attention, eye-to-eye.

After a while, as more and more of our co-workers would move on over the years, I saw Barbara as a valued person who walked the same work path with me. We'd both been through many middle management work styles of the changing middle-management bosses that I was indirectly held accountable to and that she reported to. We would commiserate over this at times, and laugh at other times. We began to share 'the knowing' over many things, as the years went by and the history between us increased over the sharing of many work experiences and events.

Barbara has a style about her that attracts certain people to her for direction. She knows a lot and when she doesn't know she is the first to admit this, and yet still offers useful words to consider. That's a gift that I know many who worked with her shared enjoyment of. It made our days at work easier and more tolerable at times.

I don't go to work to make friends. I go to work to work. But, I made friends with Barbara. I consider her a mentor and a friend that I will miss when I no longer see her on daily basis as I have during the past 17+ years. Having Barbara in my life changed my life, and I'm so glad that she fought to get me hired those many years ago.

But, now, she is moving on to a new chapter in her existence. An ending of the old, and the beginning of the new. I'm soon to be one of the old to her. But, I'm fine with that.

She made my work life fun for the past 17 years. We laughed. We shared. We worked well together because of the strengthening of the bond and trust we shared over the years.

Thank you Barbara. I've enjoyed getting old with you. I will miss you. As a co-worker. And, as a friend.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

The mind is letting us know that something needs to be worked through. Something needs to be expressed so as to be moved beyond. Is any of it real? Of course, it feels as such, but in reality it isn't. The mind has just found another way to busy up the presence of life with its seeming existence.

It wants us to focus on its needs, not what is truly present and needing attention: what is.

The mind is a marvelous machine. It never stops. It doesn't need fuel very often, and when it does it certainly lets us know by bringing more drama into our life so as to continue its existence and daily stream of processing that we can't seem to escape from, even during sleep.

The mind is always present with the exception of very few times when we're able to get a deep dreamless sleep and are allowed to just be with presence. Even if we don't know it because we tell ourselves that we were sleeping, we've still found respite from the machinations of the overworked mind.

The mind is something that once it gloms onto a thought, it can then turn that simple thought into a thought stream. Now, forever preoccupying us with its endless tangential ideas and offshoots regarding that original thought, it's incessant and seemingly endless.

Every time a new experience comes into our day we find ourselves ruminating or going over and over the endless thoughts that are now created about that experience. They never end. Even when the experience is over we then find a way to think about what happened, rather than what will happen, or what is happening.

We all know this through our many years or even decades of living in this fashion.

The mind is a marvelous machine. It's a useful tool that has gotten us many wonderful aspects of our daily existence that we operate from today. It's useful. It's destructive. It's evil at times. And, it's our best friend.

As I sit here writing these words I have to notice how this mind is working today. It's trying its usual seductive pull. It's wanting to grab hold of an experience that is impending and then make this into something that can be the focus of the coming days and weeks. This experience will become its food. Its food for thought, so to speak. This is the food of existence for most.

Thoughts are what keep the days from being seemingly empty. Thoughts are what keep the mind in the mental picture of life and allow existence to seem to be filled with substance and life workings that are productive and substantive.

Fine. Think that way. Live that way. It doesn't change anything.

Trying to paint the sky isn't going to mean that the sky is going to be affected by the effort. It isn't.

Life is not affected by the workings of the mind. The mind is simply a preoccupation of existence. A simple distraction as what is. It's something that life is finding at the moment to fill itself up with. Thoughts are only processing in the brain. They aren't real.

They seem real. They 'feel' real. They taste real. They have outcomes that appear real. But thoughts in and of themselves are electrical impulses. Outside of that, the massive complexity of Einstein's Theory of Relativity doesn't exist, except on a chalkboard.

The mind is a machine. The mind uses thoughts for fuel. We use thoughts to give us life and to sustain the existence of the world centered on thoughts that we build up over the decades of existence that we each have.

Can this be changed? Sure.

Why would one want to do this? Well, there can any number of reasons for this. Some of them might seem useless and impractical and of no worth to some. To others they are of critical importance.

Millions of people the world over meditate or do other practices so as to stop the mind. Have any of them succeeded at enlightenment? Many have abated the mind for periods of time, but it always returns. It's part of sentient existence. It's what the brain does. It has electrical processing which is categorized as thoughts and which are then classed as what is called mind.

Can what the brain was created for be stopped? Sure. When one is dead. Can the creation of thoughts be reduced or not placed in the seat of importance that so many of us operate from on a daily existence?

Sure. Only if one wants to do so.

Thoughts create feelings. Many of us are addicted to our feelings. Say, anger. Say, sadness. Say, happiness.

We love to feel what we feel. And what we feel has a thought as the precursor to it. Feelings come about with thoughts as their basis. Their root cause. Thoughts come from the operations of the brain.

So, they are happening.

It's up to us to ascertain what we want to do with these thoughts and these feelings. Do we want to give them first importance in our day? Do we want to have our existence operate around them? Or, perhaps, should we just see that they're part of our existence and continue on with our day.

Kind of like making the choice between swatting at the annoying fly buzzing around our head, or just ignoring it and continuing with what we're doing. The incessant buzzing continues unabated, but we continue to operate at a different level.

Thoughts are not going to go away as long as the mind is assumed to exist. This is generally the human condition as long as we're on this side of the grass.

Thoughts don't even go away with devout practice through so-called spiritual efforts. They are the food for feelings.

So, we have a choice if we're so inclined. Do we want to continue to be dragged between pillar and post with the thoughts that come up? Or do we want to simply do what needs to be done during our day and not give the thoughts that come up the prior importance that we've assigned to them?

This can be done. Life doesn't have to be lived with thoughts as the primary focus of existence. Sure, they can't be denied as being present during our day. But, they certainly don't need to be given the absolute importance that we give them as we blithely follow them down the feelings-lined path that they create.

Continue with your life. Continue doing what Life presents to you. Life has presented these thoughts as well. They're part of Life. Not Life altogether; a part.

At times the body is the priority when one chooses to eat to feed the body. Then one chooses to exercise. Then one chooses to follow a thought that says that one should take a shower to clean the body. The thoughts aren't needed as the body is being cleaned with the stream of water. The shower doesn't have to be filled up with the stream of thoughts. They don't clean the mind or the body at this moment. They are unnecessary as a priority.

The need of the body is to be literally cleaned. Thoughts can't do that. The water and the soap suffices for the moment. Go through the routine of picking up the soap and the shampoo bottle and ensuring that the water isn't too hot so as to scald the body. But do allow the thought stream to be washed away down the drain along with the dirt and dead skin and hair cells.

Leave the shower, cleansed - inside and out.

It's a wonderful way not only to cleanse the body but to cleanse the mind and the heart, and start clean with existence.

Simply remember to wash, rinse, repeat, as often as needed.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

Think of anything. An object. A long relationship. A thought. We have so many things that are a part of our lives and our days and moments here. They've been with us throughout this journey. Yet, somehow, usually unbeknownst to us we picked them up along the way to now and held onto them without even knowing that we were, and are, doing so.

Innumerable aspects encompass what we consider to be a part of our life, or our entire life. Yet, where did we get these from? Where did all these aspects we now possess as our own come from?

'I don't remember picking that up.', we say.

'Where did that come from?', we ask.

'Who put that there?', we wonder.

'Why did I say that?', we question.

Think about this.

What we consider to be our existence is made up of a multitude of 'things', for want of a better term. Things that we now consider to be intrinsic to our life and duly necessary to our proper functioning.

They're there in our actions, but we don't know how they got there.

Case in point: We find ourselves doing an activity and yet we don't know why we are doing it. We finally figure out that this is just how we do things. This is how we have been doing things for a very long time. There is no other way to do things, is what we're silently telling ourselves. This is just something that we do. Right?

We have relationships that have snuck up on us.

We have connections to the world and its activities that are a part of our daily routine. Whether that be reading the news online, watching television, or hanging out with a particular group of people, or feelings, every morning.

We have so much of our existence that is just 'there'. Again, we don't know where it came from, but it's there.

'Why am I doing this?'

'Where did this come from: I don't recall from where?'

It's only when we separate ourselves from the daily functioning of this organism and its accepted, usually blithely, activities, that we begin to see what is in our life that we truly want and/or need, and what is dross.

When we take a break from the usual activities that we include in our moments of existence we are given a greater clarity to know what should be there in our moments versus what we now have unknowingly put there.

There are many stories about this process of acquisition during one's life.

~~~~
To make a simple summary of one of the stories...

A traveler is walking along a road carrying so many bags of luggage that he can barely take another step. He is weary and exhausted from his burdensome journey. He finds himself walking through the shade provided by a tree and notices a woman sitting at the base of the tree, silently watching him.

The woman greets him by asking him where he is going and why he needs so much luggage. The traveler says that he doesn't know where he is heading to and he doesn't even remember where he picked up the cumbersome load of bags he now carries. The woman asks him as to why he doesn't just let go of all the baggage, so that he may travel lighter.

The traveler states that this never occurred to him. He lets go of his accumulated load of items, thanks the woman, and continues on his way.
~~~~

Moving back from the multitude of connections that we've unknowingly established as part of our routine during this walk through existence allows us to experience the space that is always present, but unseen because of the continued weaving of activities that appears to make life seamless.

Allowing for the presence of the simple fact of existence to begin to permeate through the activities allows for the inclusion of something that allows for a clarity of perception that heretofore didn't exist during our daily potpourri of activities that we operate from and through.

One needn't necessarily let go of their life, so to speak, and become an ascetic. One can simply see that changing the flavor of the day through mixing up the routine, both by actions and inaction, can allow for something that wasn't lived from before to enter one's daily existence.

Suzanne Segal wrote in her wonderful autobiography 'Collision with the Infinite' that she operated from an allowing of life to present to her 'what seemed obvious' in the next moment. When existence presented to her what seemed obvious for her to next be doing or where to go, she simply did it. It wasn't a conscious forcing out of life what the mind thought was pertinent and needed. She simply went with the flow of life and allowed herself to experience what it presented to her.

This is what we can all be doing. We can see that how virtually our entire existence is structured around what we tell ourselves should be. What Suzanne Segal wrote about is for one to allow what IS.

When the stepping back from what currently is occurs one is able to see what is truly present in the moment, not just what has been created. More, what is being allowed to be seen.

That is, what is.

This is what is.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

Q: "What is it when we want to be just mortal?" Why are "feelings" just ego?

A: The body sweats when hot. The body shivers when cold. The digestive system digests and excretes. The heart pumps blood. The brain processes thoughts. The mind feels emotions and other feelings.

That's the human organism.

The ego is simply thoughts occurring in the mind. They don't occur 'in' the body. They occur with the mind. Where is the mind? We're told it's in the body. Is it? I don't know. It may be. It may not. But we know it does exist to us through thoughts and feelings.

What isn't the body is what our essential is-ness is. We are. We is. That has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with being human. A rock is. The Andromeda galaxy is. What is that is-ness? What is that?

Is it a sensation? Does it have feelings? No, in my experience.

That is us, before the mind became our self.

What wants to return to just being mortal? I don't know. The sense of existence just is. We can anthropomorphize it all we want. It still is probably not the case that that would be accurate.

But, the desire to just 'be' something is just ego. The sense of existence, of beingness, is just that. Can what doesn't 'exist' desire? I don't think so.

How can what is, be? It can't. It already is by its very existence.

So,.....you are the ego, you are the body, you are the mind, you are all that. But, is that all that you are? Is there more to you?

That is what the true teachings are attempting to impart. There is something here that we don't know about and can't see, hear, or touch. But it's here. And when we still the being enough, it's here. It doesn't appear. We do.

What can you do about it? You can use the mind to struggle for all of your existence trying to touch the untouchable. You can spend your hours attempting to understand the un-understandable. Or you can simply know that your life is being lived through the mind right now and the only way to have the experience move out of that type of living of the being is to take some of the living and just BE.

You already are being. You already exist as you are. Can you be told how to exist? No.

You know you exist. You know what it is to be. You just don't know who to be, so the mind says.

There is no mind in existence. Existence is occurring as mind, as you.

When you see that, you see you.

It sounds difficult and obtuse, and my experience is that at times it is so.

But, at times it isn't. And, that's when the you-ness of you, and the me-ness of me are simply That.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

To me, writing isn't about knowing how to write. Certainly, my writing style is not the usual mold. And the syntax and grammar and structure that I use is not the norm or something that would be used at the NY Times: except to serve as a streite example of how not to write.

The entire process of writing is interesting in and of itself. What is it anyway? Well, it's simply putting what's in the mind onto e-paper. It's a structuring of thoughts and the words that they include into a cohesive flow that makes sense. Wash, rinse, repeat, and an article is born.

Writing is not necessarily something that follows structure. I've found that the best way for me to write is to just do it. Write.

Don't think about how it will be read, or by whom, necessarily, but just focus on the action of the writing and leave it at that.

I always want to write about a variety of topics in this e-rag of mine. I have the best intentions to write about a broad array of topics so as to serve the most readers that may accidentally happen across this virtual tome when searching in Google. I always want to make my insights cover a range of topics so as to show that there are insights to be gleaned from many sources and events as we all walk this mortal path to ending.

But then the Universe shows up and shows me what it is that I am to write about and it's now usually something that I can't seem to dissuade or persuade myself from as a topic of insights.

I want to write about many things. I have done that in that past. I guess I'm finding out that it takes a strong impulse for whatever it is that I'm writing about to have the marginal impact that is necessary for it to become a writing that just flows out of this noggin' of mine. I've certainly learned that the best writing that I find streaming through the fingertips is that which is just flowing out of the hands and onto the keys of the keyboard.

That happened again this morning as I sat here pondering what it was that I would undertake writing.

I started a writing about writing. I started writing about writing and wrote about a page of words that were about writing. Yet the writing itself was stilted. Forced. Structured. Rigid. It wasn't flowing as these words you are now reading.

So what did I do? I threw that writing away, I deleted it. And I started over with this. This is flowing and this is streaming, so I know that this is what I'm to be sharing with you right now. It's very simple.

Writing is not something that should be hard to do. It should flow and should be something that is felt in the heart, if that is possible. It is something that you are not really writing but rather is being written for you, and thru you.

The writing that works best for me is to just let the words reach out of my fingertips and become the stream of words and concepts that they're intended to be, without me getting in the way. Or at least stepping out of the way as much as possible.

I know that much of this may sound like gibberish and perhaps does even read like that at times, but that's okay. The mind is a hindrance at times and the free flow of the Universe is something that is hard to express in and of itself. The mind simply gets in the way and stops the creative process before it begins.

So whatever can be done to ensure that the mind isn't getting in the way is useful and beneficial and allows for the expression to be spontaneous and natural. At least that is my experience.

When the mind is present it's always about getting the words right. Getting everything correct and flowing and fitting and being relayed properly. Life isn't like that.

Life is about intersections and stoppages and restarts and interruptions and tangents and breakages. It doesn't necessarily have this consistent flowing quality where each and every sentence is a cohesive blend of thoughts from start to finish.

Show me someone who lives their life like that and I'll show you a person who is an automaton.

Thinking about what one is going to write about is perhaps the biggest killer of what one is going to write about. The mind can't always write the best words. The mind is something that is structured and made in such a way that words are meant to be arranged and aligned in a way such that they read and are sensed and read correctly.

Writing from the heart allows the heart to be expressed and revealed and the heart is something that when expressed is shown to be what it is: raw, alive, real, unique.

In actuality, I've always thought that there isn't one single thought or sentence that I could write that someone, somewhere hasn't written before in the history of human kind. Think about that. What original thoughts do we have? Is there anything original? Or is it based on something we've read, heard, seen, or been told by someone? What original thinking is going on in the head?

Little to none in my opinion.

This becomes very clear when one takes the time to read the many articles on the Internet that are considered newsworthy. They are simply rehashed pablum that sound familiar because they usually are. Same words, different event. Same descriptions, different players involved. Same 'ol, same 'ol.

Is this writing you're reading now any different? Perhaps not. It's simply a rehashing of what is inside of this person. But this person does what he can so as to not have the experiences to-date be the source of the words as that is what causes the pablum to be regurgitated and spewed up again. Same experience, different mouth doing the spewing.

When writing comes from the heart, when writing comes from a place that isn't based on the mind, it is writing that is closer to the source of all of this. It is writing that is an expression of the source itself. It has the clarity and the cleanness, without the contamination of that particular human mind tainting the expression.

Now, I know that this is sounding kinda esoteric. But, really it isn't. This is something that we see all the time in many other expressions. We see it in young children playing or just being. We see it in beautiful expressions of art, so-called masterpieces. We see it in nature. We see it in the dark starry sky every night.

These are expressions of the source. These are expressions that are not compacted, truncated, organized and dissected by the human mind. Writing is like that too, when it is a flowing of what it is coming from.

When writing is coming from the source, when writing is allowed to be written from the source of the writing, it doesn't suffer from the layering of the human experience onto it. It is revealed and then becomes something that is timeless and impartial to interpretation and qualitativeness.

It just Is.

And I love Is.

You?

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

My body is important to me enough so that I've been constantly working it out for the past 30 years because without a healthy body, not much else can occur, whether it is desired or not. Of course, someone like Steven Hawking is the exception to this, but, you get the gist of what I'm sharing.

There are many other activities that I could include in my days to bide my time, akin to what almost every other human being on this continent, and some other continents does throughout their life.

Endless vacations. Trips to go camping and skiing and hot air ballooning and rock climbing and bungee jumping. I could travel the world. I could buy every type of music CD or DVD that I could get my hands on pertaining to the particular realm of music that I was interested in.

I could buy much more clothing than I could ever hope to wear in an entire year of seasons. I could buy more cars than I could insure or drive long enough to enjoy and then grow tired of.

I could busy my weekends, my nights, and my waking hours when I'm alone listening to and watching as many sporting games as I could bring in my visual and auditory field. I could enjoy the fruits of this passion by purchasing as many sports-related memorabilia and fan accoutrements that I could find in the local sporting goods and sports clothing stores. I could deck out my house and my car and my wardrobe and my Facebook page with numerous mentions of my interest in sports and everything to do with sports. I could take every opportunity to discuss last night's score with the kindred fans down at the water-cooler at work.

I could do whatever I could to maximize my time in front of the television. I could buy the latest television channel listing guide and circle all of my favorite shows and their show times during the coming week or weeks. I could ensure that I structure my life and everything that it includes around the television and the shows that I have circled so as to not miss them or miss out on the continued series of any particular seasonal first-run of episodes that have to be watched in order.

Even better still, I could circle every sports game and sports commentary and sporting event show that is showing on the 299 television channels that I have through my local cable provider and I could ensure that I'm available to watch as many dozens of hours of them as I am able to squeeze into my 168-hour week. To do so, I can sacrifice sleep and time with my family actually relating in a substantive way. And, I could sacrifice cooking and eating quality and nutritious meals as I chomp down on another corn-dog and beer whilst reclined on my extra padded recliner in front of the 70-inch Sony LED HD television.

I could buy newspapers and read only the sports section. I could buy magazines that offer the latest updated statistics on every player in the field I watch.

How much do they make? Know it.

How is their score to-date? Know it.

How did they do last week after they were traded? Know it.

How did my kid hurt his knee yesterday? Hunh, he did? When? I didn't know that!

I could consume my time following the ups and downs of the stock market and every subtle nuance of the machinations of the world money wheel. Up. Down. Up. Up again. Down. Slide. Ad infinitum.

I could subscribe to all the money magazines and financial pundit e-rags that I could get my hands on and eyes viewing. I could join as many financial mailings on the net so as to be able to daily watch the workings of my financial portfolio and the expansion or deflation of such holdings. I could invest and speculate, and portend, and surmise as to how it's all going to end up in five years.

I could worry about every penny that I have right now and how much I'm saving for my retirement. I could read all the financial statistics about the value loss of money and how many millions are now necessary for our extended retirements, lest I allow myself to suffer a painful and penniless death in abject poverty. Of course, other ebooks and authors say that one should die broke and not leave their children anything financial. So, maybe that time spent is not so bad after all.

I could learn a hobby and take up lessons to learn everything that I can about it. Then I could actually do it and maybe find out that I really didn't have that much interest in it as I originally thought I did or would. I could find out that the hobby of finding hobbies is more to my liking and I'll continue to do that so that I feel like I'm doing something with the few spare hours I have during my week and life.

I could spend all of my time simply not accepting my life as it is. The busy times need to be emptied. The empty times need to be packed to overflowing with activity.

My mind can't stay empty either. It can't be bored as that isn't fun. Boredom is to be avoided at all costs. So, what to do about it? Take up a hobby. Take up vegging in front of the big-screen television. Zone out on the music blasting into my ears for the last uncountable stream of hours as I cruise through the dredges of the Internet and the morass of decay that sometimes electronically bares its soulless soul to me.

I could stuff my face to bide the time that I don't want to have to confront face-to-face. Food is a good out. It tastes good. It's sensual. It can even be erotic if one is to believe in what the Hollywood movies show us. Of course the more food that is consumed, the more the body begins to waste away, usually, so the more the body needs a good working out. And so there one goes, off to the shopping center or Amazon.com to buy that must needed expanding workout outfit and latest needed workout enhancing program that is sure to shed those recently added pounds of fat.

Then the fridge is empty. The closet is full of poorly-fitting clothes. The body feels like a mass of flesh. The television beckons, with the new sports scores streaming across the bottom of the channel as our favorite sports teams battle it out in a life-or-death match to the end, of the ninth inning.

Or, I could even spend my time writing and writing and writing an endless electronic tome so as to believe that something will come of it and someone, somewhere will benefit from the sharing. Year after year, reader after countless reader. I could continue to believe that another hour spent writing and sharing the inner thoughts of one person could make a difference in the mind and life of an other, somewhere on this planet. I could continue to believe that the words and the insight being shared are the most valuable aspects of a true connection. I could believe that there is no better way to spend the hours available to each of us.

What is it all for? We all have the same amount of time. We all have the same amount of time to use, to waste, to fill, to empty each and every week. There is not a micro-millisecond of difference between the richest person in the world and the child dying of thirst in many third-world countries.

Think about this. If you read this far, you just allowed these words to take up some of your precious time amongst your limited hours on this planet.

Do you see this writing as being that valuable to you? To your time?

Or do you see it as just another way to waste time. If so, I imagine you won't come back here to read.

If you don't come back, I won't mind. In fact, congratulations are in order. You have your priorities straight, I can tell. You're a busy person and don't have time to read the fluff offered here.

Seriously. Have a good time. See you around.

Go on, get busy getting busy.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

P.S. Happy Birthday Madge! Love you. :-)

Is our reason for existence to become a supermodel? An actor? Someone with an identity that only the government knows about? A parent? A spouse? A lover? A good worker-bee? A dissident? Someone who makes a lot of money? A person who is angry? As we all know there are thousands of other possibilities for an identity.

But, what happens when that process doesn't work out? What happens when all that we set up to resolve that need for knowing ourself doesn't stay stuck together or stuck in place as we originally planned or expected? What happens when whatever we assembled starts to fall apart at the seams?

We all know what it is that we do. We get another identity going in the hopper. Or we rely upon what other established identities might be in our own personal hopper of life.

We do this so we know who we are. We do this so that we don't forget who we are. We do this so that we can tell others who we are. We do this so we can connect with others who are like and the same way that we tell ourselves that we are. We do this so we can stay away from those who are not like who we think we are.

I call this the Identity Project, but it's really more of an identity crisis. It's one big massive effort on the part of virtually every human being on the planet to know who they are by what they do and what they know and even what they feel and think.

Now, I know that I'm not writing about something cutting-edge here or first-of-its-kind type of thing. I know that for a fact. This has been written about millions of times before in countless books, articles, and now websites.

But what amazes me about all of this is the insidiousness of all of this. The pervasiveness of it and the relentless effort we all feel compelled to march towards so as to have our own personal identity.

Now I know that many of you might be thinking that I've gone into the deep end of the pool here with this. You might even be saying "Well of course I have an identity you silly dude you, how else would I know my self? " Others might even say "Are you insane? How else would I function in society? I need an identity!"

There are many different justifications for needing to know who we are, especially in relation to others. This is the way the human race is established. Everything has a reference point. Everything is in relation to everything else, so of course it needs to have a place that it is in reference to by the mere fact that it exists.

This includes each one of us. We all need to know who we are and where we fit in to in society and our surroundings. We need to have our own personal pecking order in life. Where we are in the chain of command varies depending upon the environment that were in at any particular time.

It's all a pretty cool way of handling this morass of existence that we're thrown into with no choice. We begin to develop a sense of existence in relation to existence.

But where this goes awry is when the sense of existence is related to only through the many identities that we have and it is all that matters whilst no effort or focus is made on the existence of one as a human creature in existence here.

Let me rephrase.

Simply, the focus is always outside and on external objects and events. I'm saying that the focus should at times be more of an internal focus where the relation that is seeked is one with one's self.

We all have an identity and, like each of us, I would surmise that no two are the same. We need our identity to function in this world we're in. But there is also a world, an inner world, that is available for our touching and contacting. It's there inside of each and every one of us.

We're just looking the other way. We're looking outside when we need to turn our attention inside to experience this true and unchanging connection. With who or what? Easy.

With our Self. With the essence of our existence. That common bond that we share as human creatures existing on this planet. That common bond that we share with all of existence itself.

Oh, of course, I know that what I'm writing about here won't make any sense to many readers of this article. Especially those who have not the foggiest idea of what it is that I'm attempting to point to here. That's okay.

I'm sharing with those who are seeking some sort of purpose in life. Some sort of purpose to existence. Some meaning to it all. They are the ones who have a calling of sorts.

They are the ones who know that the Identity Project isn't working. The Identity Project is collapsing at the seams, slowly, but surely.

They are the ones who know that there is something here that is bigger than each of us. They just don't know what.

This is not fantasy. This is reality.

We each exist. We each know that we exist. We each are fully certain that we exist and that we're here. Yet we don't spend much time or effort touching that certainty. We don't spend much time making an effort, for even a brief moment during our short time thru life, to drop the thousands of identities that we each have built up over the decades so as to see the reality of our existence as a human created out of the nothingness of the infinite.

So, to reiterate, what exactly is it that I'm attempting to impart here?

I'm working to share that each of us has built up over the decades of existence that we've been alive in this mortal coil a way of relating to our existence that truly doesn't allow us to connect with the essence of our existence. Why would we want to do that? We all know why.

If one is not happy with their existence and the ever-changing fact of the identities that are created and then glommed on to and hung onto for dear life, then one might want to consider looking in a different direction for what doesn't change and what we were created from and can't cover up no matter how many identities we try to use to 'know ourself'.

Let me give you an example.

I'm a parent of a teen and two pre-teen boys. I'm a single parent. When I'm with them and I'm fulfilling my role/identity as a parent, life is very full and focused on the boys. They need parental attention and that is what I opted to do by becoming a father to them through their birth.

Imagine that they're physically with me but busy doing their thing in the adjoining room and I'm in the kitchen making supper for all of us. I'm standing in the kitchen and yet can see each of them as they're busy in their own little adolescent worlds. As I'm standing in the kitchen I can choose to step out of my own little parental world and instead focus on the mere fact that I exist at that moment.

I can allow myself to touch the knowing of what it is to exist. Period. Not exist as a parent. Not exist as Dad. Not exist as a man. But, to exist, right there and then.

That moment is devoid of identity. That moment is indescribable and unbound. That which was touched is not in relation to anything else of identity. That is why it is unbound. That is why it can't be described.

So, why do this? Well, again, one will only do this looking if one is wanting to do it. Others will simply ignore or forget. That's fine.

But, the looking at what doesn't have any connection with the concept of identity is what erodes the identities and brings one in contact with what all of existence is. And what one's physical body was borne out of and into.

It doesn't matter whether one is sitting at a desk in an office in a skyscraper in a humongous city or walking barefoot along a dirt path in the grasslands in a small country south of the equator.

We all have identities, and we all have an innate knowing that we are not the identities. Efforting to be, from the place that is not part of the Identity Project, allows one to connect with the simple peace of existence.

Some time ago I decided that I want that.

You?

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

That is, the pursuit of happiness, and the fact that this pursuit is generally a secret, or is hidden from plain view and so it remains unseen for the most part. Oh, I know we don't spend our days here saying to ourself "I'm going to pursue happiness", or "Happiness is something that I'm pursuing", but it is something that is reflected through our actions yet unbeknownst to us.

Let me start at the beginning. Literally.

First, single-celled life in the oceans, then plant life, then fishes, then mammals, then dinosaurs and then humans in this long chain of life. I found it particularly interesting to see that although the earth is calculated to be 4,500 million years old, humans have only existed for the last 1.5 million years. We're been here a very short time, in the scheme of things.

And then think about the fact that today a particular human life span is expected to be not even 80 years in a developed country. A human life is amazingly brief, in relation to the scale of the planet.

But, getting more into the matter at hand about the pursuit of happiness, what I found really fascinating to watch about the program were scientist's speculations about what life was like for the early original humans in our species. Obviously, life was very simple: survive. Period.

The aspects of existence back then were obtain food and probably find shelter from the elements, and don't die in the process.

Then things became more refined as the millenia passed to having three aspects of existence: obtain food, find shelter, and get clothing. This is more akin to how we are today, in 'modern society'.

So, although things were considered to be very simple for many hundreds of centuries when humans were in existence, they are now somewhat more complex as we like to be proper and cloth our body, mostly to protect it from the elements.

So, let me ask you a few questions with consideration of the title of this article....

When did life become: obtain food, find shelter, get clothing, and acquire money?

Were humans created in this long line of existence of life on earth so that they could make money?

Were you created as a human so that you could live your existence pursuing money and accumulating as many objects during your existence, before you die?

Or, simply asked: is your purpose of existing to make money?

I know I just turned the focus of this article to a personal, in-your-face one with these questions. But, why am I asking these blunt questions? Well, it occurred to me that in spite of the fact that the human creature has very simple basic needs for survival, somehow human existence was bastardized into becoming something that it's not.

Just because we humans can create an economy that focuses on money, doesn't mean we should have it be the focus of our existence.

Okay, I know that I'm being particularly tough here and probably making many wonder what it is that is being attempted to be imparted here. Well, it's not too hard to distill the dross of life from the actual needs.

Watching that movie made it particularly clear to me that life is something that has become a pursuit for our species; however, the true pursuit of life as a human, the desire for happiness with existence, is usually translated in modern society through the pursuit of money. The pursuit of money, and everything that goes along with that obtainment process along the way. The objects, the experiences, the people, the power. All of it.

We spend our days pursuing money because we want to be happy, essentially. We just don't focus on that connection, as we're usually too engrossed in the pursuit. We want to have as much money all along the way as we can accumulate so that we can accumulate things that we silently believe will make us happy.

But, is it this obvious? No. It's quite subtle and hidden. It's secret. The innate desire of a satisfying existence, the pursuit of happiness, is secretly hidden behind what's become the pursuit of money for most humans in existence on this planet now.

Now, I know that this has been distilled down to a level that is very simplistic and general, but it still is apropos. One could even say that the pursuit of many other things is what life is about but I surmise that they are almost always tied up with money as part of the equation. Money is either there before the pursuit is started, or it most certainly is part of the equation after the object of the pursuit is held by a person. Even if that object is something intangible, like power and control.

Think of how many things in your present life have become about money, but in actually are about you just wanting to be happy with your existence. One buys things so that one has a better sense of oneself, so that one is happier and feels more secure in life and all its strife and turmoil. One does things so that one is happy with existence, including experiences and having people in one's life that are liked.

But, we all know through personal experience that anything money can buy or provide both comes into our life usually with happiness riding on its back, and goes, along with the happiness associated with it.

We all work so that we can have money. But why do we need the money, really? So that we can survive and continue to exist, right? We want to have that occur as comfortably as is possible and this is where the simple pursuit of happiness of existence becomes the secret pursuit of money so that the pursuit of the happiness of existing can occur. But then things go awry.

The money gets separated from the happiness, as it becomes the focus, and we forget why we need the money, and how little we each actually need to survive, and be happy with our existence.

If one can reattach the two aspects, money and happiness, then one would see that the simple secret of life is happiness and it takes not a lot of money to have that occur. Having enough money for food, shelter, and clothing makes for a very happy existence and satisfies the most basic needs of human existence. We continue to survive and we continue to exist with these true basic needs met.

We continue to fight, to die, to destroy, and to kill when money is involved as the primary pursuit of our existence.

Yes, it is a secret. Yes, it is part of the pursuit. But the secret pursuit of happiness is something that once known, once seen, once out in the open, forever changes one's relation to the pursuit. Seeing that the purpose of existence as a human is to just to continue to exist, to live, to be happy in relation to living this existence, that is an insightful moment.

I don't know about you, but I'm certainly not going to my grave with the regret 'I wish I made more money during my life.' I will regret not doing everything I can to facilitate being simply happy with my existence while alive, but not through the acquisition process revolving around money and having simple lasting happiness sight unseen.

Sure, money is needed to exist, but when the secret pursuit of happiness, is distilled down to simply the pursuit of happiness, and then basically just happiness with existence, things become a whole lot more simple. And happier.

And isn't that what is being pursued in the first place: happiness?

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

I expected the words to just come flowing off the fingertips like butter off of a hot knife. But, alas, no. They were clogged up in the mental log jam in my mind this a.m.

But, that wasn't what was occurring. What was actually transpiring was the lack of anything substantive appearing in my mind.

It was an absence of sorts that was apparent. Not a substantive appearance but a lack of something that came to mind. Essentially: nothing.

What I'm trying to impart was that the inability to have an actual topic come to mind was an indication of what actually occurs to many of us throughout our days.

Like I started this writing with, we expect something to appear and yet it doesn't. We expect life to be one way, in our mind's eye, and yet it isn't and it proceeds to be created in a manner different from what we were expecting.

I was expecting a cogent article that would part the mental clouds of the readers of this article. Yet, nothing was present.

But that nothing was actually something.

That lack of something was a lack that is faced by humans every day.

We all do everything we can to run from nothing. We don't like not being busy and 'doing nothing'. We don't like being alone and not being busy. We don't like having quiet minds that have almost slowed down to nothing inside, even though we wish for them all the time. When they appear we do everything in our power to fill them up again.

We all know that drill.

It's all so interesting how the intangible aspects of life have so much to show us and teach us if we're willing to learn. Today I was shown, again, that the lack of appearance of something was actually an appearance in and of itself.

The lack was full of a showing of what was present. The lack was present. Life was full of nothing at that moment and that nothing was everything that I needed to see and know at that time so as to be able to impart this insight to the readers of these words.

A lack of something is usually very substantive. It has meaning and is full with life and substance. But we just see it as a space or a break in what is. We see it as empty.

These moments when life gives us what it is giving us are full of what we need at the moment. We, however, don't want to see it that way. We've been trained not to see life that way. We've been told that we are to fill up our life with activities and thoughts and wants and needs and expectations and desires.

Nothing is not something, we're told. Nothing is a time to get busy. Having nothing to say is not a good thing we're told. We're always supposed to have the right answer and goals and a direction in life. We're not supposed to sit still. We're supposed to be moving as fast as we can until the physical clock winds down, permanently.

Life is supposed to be about viewing the nothing moments as opportunities to fill, we're told.

I say that these moments are to be embraced as what they are, not what we want them to be. I remember in the movie Peaceful Warrior when the mysterious Socrates tells regular Dan that 'there's never nothing happening', that Dan didn't understand what he was pointing to. The corollary of this is 'there's always something happening', even when nothing is appearing.

Life is always, always bringing us a plate full of nothing hidden underneath the objects of something. It's always making sure that space and the infinite is in every breath that we take and every thought we make. It's showing us its fullness.

But, we're busy looking the other way.

Everything is always present. Even when everything appears as absence.

Look with more focus, you'll see that Life is chock full of things that make every moment full of an insight to be gleaned and used to allow one to better be in relation to what is, and what 'isn't.'

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

Wanting to do something is something that we don't usually think about. We either want to do something, or we don't. We won't actually take the time to discern actually what it is that gets us to that position of deciding to do something or not. We usually wait until the decision needs to be made, and then we decide. Action or no action. Do or don't. Yes or no.

Deciding is easy. Wanting to decide is hard. Wanting to make a decision about something is something that usually is instilled with its partner: fear. Making a decision is something that we do all day long. But, when it comes times to decide about what we need to decide about, we then have to determine if we even want to make that decision in the first place. And, we know that if we're not ready to do so, resistance to making a decision comes up. Resistance in the form of excuses. Or resistance in the form of fear.

Either way, they end up with the same outcome: the decision that needs to be made is made, or in this case is not made because the fear or resistance is focused on instead of what needs to be acted upon in the first place.

I know full-hand what it's like to act from a place of fear. It makes one virtually incapable of making a decision because one does not appear to know what one wants. But, I've learned that one has to first determine if one even WANTS to decide to figure out what is needing to be decided.

I remember what someone told me when I was pursing a home based business back in the 90s. It involved selling vitamins to others, and these were quality vitamins that I had been taking for some time so I knew firsthand that they were good for the body. Anyway, at that time someone once asked me "Everyone may need these vitamins, but how many people want them?"

That blew the door of my mindset wide open and made me realize that I was promoting something that nobody wanted. Or at least didn't want the particular ones that I was trying to pawn and peddle to them. They all needed them, as I knew that we don't get enough vitamins from the foods we intake, yet nobody wanted them because they themselves didn't see a particular need for them.

During that time, another person made a statement during a telephonic training call I was participating in that also changed what I was perceiving as an easy sell. That person, a woman successful in the business, said two words that again showed me what I was dealing with and how the fact that I was sold on the efficacy and need for these vitamins, others weren't so, and my being sold on the vitamins wasn't enough to make a sale to other. She said that people "Gotta Wanna."

Gotta wanna what? Well, gotta wanna do the business and make the sales. Gotta wanna buy the vitamins. Gotta wanna see the need for the vitamins. Gotta wanna go out there and make me see that they gotta wanna.

So, getting out of the salesmanship mindset that I'm recalling, how does this apply to you and your life and a particular insight that could be of use to you? Well, it's again pretty easy to see that no matter what one does, it ain't gonna happen until the gotta wanna is there inside whomever has got to want to do what one is needing to do.

I've come across situations that involved knowing that something that could easily and certainly benefit a person and was something that they should have in their life was not going to occur simply because they didn't want it. They knew it was good for them. They knew it was something that they needed to do or undertake, or change, yet they were in a place of inaction and indecision simply because the wanting to make that particular change or undertaking wasn't in place, first.

Remember, want first, decide or do or do not second.

We all know when something is something that we should be doing. We do. We just come up with excuses and reasons for not doing it. That's okay. It really is.

All one has to know and work towards seeing is that they are probably in a position of not actually wanting what is presented to them. That's okay too. It's not a bad thing to not want something.

But clarity about the situation is what is key. Knowing that the wanting isn't there is what is needed because then the actual need isn't clouded over with an excuse for not doing what needs to be done. One may be in complete and absolute agreement that something needs to be done, a decision needs to be made, the reasons are all set and meaningful, and then.....nothing.

What comes up after that? Excuses for not acting.

Stop.

See that everything is set in place, everything may actually turn out to be something that is completely beneficial and productive and positively impacting, but, you just don't want it. Yet.

See that you don't want it. Not that what is there in front of you is something that isn't what should be there, or isn't right for you, right now.

Just see that you don't want to decide. You don't want to try. You don't want, period.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting something. It's merely telling one that the wanting isn't there at this point in time. It may never be there, and that's okay too.

But, to have angst and grief over something that one knows one should do, but isn't truly ready for because one doesn't want it isn't something that one should berate oneself for. It's simply a matter of whatever is present now isn't wanted. Simple as that.

Seeing the subtle difference between indecision and not wanting to decide is something that can be changing and allow one to actually lighten up on oneself so that one day that wanting may actually be there, when one is ready. The circumstances could very well be the same, only the timing may have changed, and then one see that one actually wants what is present or needs to be decided.

Then one might even ask "How could I have not wanted this before?"

That's the funny thing about the Universe. Staying open to the possibility of what is and knowing that what is may not be what one presently wants can allow the door to stay open to the wanting someday being present with the wanted. In a way the wanting becomes the seed of the action. If that seed isn't allowed to grow at it's own rate it can't germinate and blossom into the beautiful impetus it's meant to be, even if that actually turns out knowing that one shouldn't decide to do something.

But, at least it was allowed to be planted, and then grow, invisibly, before the actual use for it is evident.

Going through life can be pretty clear when one has the wherewithal to ask oneself if one wants what is being presented. Knowing the answer to that asking allows one to have clarity what is present and what one should do, if anything, about what is present or being presented.

And, remember, regardless of whether the decision actually is about what is or isn't, no matter what....

Wanting what is makes what is wanted.

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

The present moment is something that we somehow think that we are in control of and that we can somehow manifest our own destiny from that cosmic morass of things that are presented to us on a moment to moment basis.

We can believe that we are choosing what is occurring as it is presented to our senses. Or we can choose to believe that there exists something bigger than us that is presenting what is being shown as the present moment. Both ways work for many people. Some are more on one side or another. I believe it's the old matter of the issue of free will.

Do we have free will? Or are we being controlled by something that is unmanifest and unseen?

That is a question that befuddles and confuses many a person.

The mind boggles at the possibility of this occurring and exactly how it is supposed to occur and be controlled or become manifest. It simply cannot be fathomed how something as complicated as one life can be controlled through the unmanifest, never mind seven billion lives and countless events and precursors to those events.

What is it that is living our lives? Is it us? Is it something else? The vast majority of the population believes that something else is here and it is the one making the choices and defining what it is that we're doing in the present moment. These are the people who follow some sort of religion wherein they are simply the messengers of the intent of the unseen.

Others say that no such relationship and control exists as there is nothing unseen, only what is seen.

Obviously, both ways are right depending upon who is asked. To put two differing views into one perspective simply justifies one perspective at the expense of the other.

Also, to the person holding the opinion and belief, the belief is lived as if true so that is all that matters, especially to the person holding that belief.

Is it a matter of trying to convince a person that what they deem correct and true is the truth of the matter when it comes to existential concepts such as this?

Well, that is why wars occur. People cannot agree and think that agreement is necessary for both perspectives to exist.

We all believe what we believe. We all think that what we think is correct is correct, otherwise we wouldn't be thinking it, and believing it.

Is there something wrong with one belief over another? Well, to many, there is. To some there isn't. It's a matter of allowing and accepting.

Seen, unseen. They're opposite sides of the same coin.

Neither matters, but both do.

Can I assume that the words herein are the right ones? Well, to me, they are, otherwise this page would be blank, or full of other words and text. To you they may also be right, and yet perhaps not. If you resonate with them then they are right to you. If you're aggravated by them then they clash with your innate sense of what is right.

So, even though these words are read, what is it that is reading them? What is it that is perceiving the typing and the letters and comprehending and formulating into words and ideas and concepts what is being put into the brain as the eyes move across the screen or page.

Is it just the action of your reading this page? Or is it you reading this on behalf of something else?

The mere asking as to whether we are being lived or we are living life is something that most don't want to think about if it's a matter of being lived.

We want to think that the life we're living is ours and that we're the one controlling every subtle nuance and factor during our days. That is why we suffer so. We think that it is up to us to control what is occurring and should be occurring, instead of just accepting what is happening as it is happening. To do this would mean to abdicate control to something that we can't control. To do so would mean to acquiesce to the fact that we aren't in control of what is happening.

I remember the scene in The Matrix when Neo was told by the Oracle "Don't worry about (knocking over) the vase.", and he asked "What vase?", and then he knocked over and broke the vase on the stand next to him as he moved to become aware of it. He was told by the Oracle that his mind would really get bent up in a noodle when he thought about the incident later and whether he would've knocked over the vase if he hadn't been told not to worry about knocking over the vase.

This whole idea of being in control of what is is something that is very, very personal to each of us. We each have our own belief system and way of relating to the world innately tied up to the belief that we are in control, or we're being controlled. It's not a matter of reading a few words in an e-rag such as this and then deciding something different one way or the other.

Our entire way of relating to our existence is tied up to a belief that we control our destiny, or we don't. We control, or we're controlled.

We live, or we're being lived.

I used to think one way, now I'm beginning to think another way. I'm realizing that life is meant to be lived, as it is, and as it appears, not as I want it to be lived.

I'm being lived anyway, whether I believe it to be otherwise or not.

And you?

Written by Andre Best
http://www.andrebest.com
'...insights :: insightful information for inquisitive individuals'

(Author's permission is granted to share this full article with others. Just leave the signature line intact, please.)

I believe that I made it more user friendly, and although I kept the same theme, on purpose, I did update the look so that there is more information on the first roll of the page as it is loaded upon first view.

The page is wider too so that more information fits on today's wider and large monitor. Long-gone are the typical narrow pages from the turn of this century and the creation of affordable larger LCD monitors with such more useful viewing space.

Of course, there are other changes.

Well, although that is a gallant effort, and I did maintain it, something has been niggling away in my mind and inspiring me to make the determined effort to write more frequently on this e-rag.

I'm doing that here with this entry.

Will every entry be an earth-shattering article (are any of them? ;-)

No. Some will be full-fledged insight articles. Others will be simple ramblings, and some will be plain releases of sorts. I have to remember that this is a family-friendly blog, no matter what.

You know how you feel when a little voice inside is saying that you should be doing something new? Something different? Well, I know that some of you might think that I should try NOT writing for a while; however, that is not what I'm meaning.

I'm meaning that there is something in me that says, for right now, it's time to put out more with what's jostling around in this metal (and mental) noggin' of mine.

There are things that I know. There are things that I see. There are conclusions that this life comes to for me and through me that can be of use to some of you. Obviously not all, nor even most, but some. That's enough 'some' for me.

Stay tuned.

Expect a variety of stuff. I don't know how it'll all pan out. I'm making this up as I go along.

Just right now, this feels right.

I'm imagining again, that I'm writing in my own personal journal, way back in the early 90's before everything went electronic, and public, and world-wide.

It was simple back then. When the urge struck, the pencil was picked up and the journal was opened and filled some more.

Well, that's what this e-rag is going to be more of.

A flow.

And, as it should be.